Unique emetophobia??

[tara*starr]

I think I have a form of emetophobia. Every day if I think about being sick then I will try to stop mysefl but end up just prolonging it for a few hours. I hate being sick but I know that when I have been then I cannot be sick again as there is nothing left in me that I could throw up. In a weird, logical sort of way it makes sense, but it is really bad for my health. I was wondering if anyone had had a similar experience and whether they could help me.

[crazybeautiful]

I'm kinda confused....are you sick everyday? or just think about being sick?

[x hannah x]

Tara*starr, isn't that the name of the girl in the books *snail mail no more* and *p.s longer letter later*? And I'm kind of confused too, it sounds more like you have an ilnesswhich causes vomiting than anything else...

[Jenneh]

my impression of ur post is, u hate being sick SO MUCH, u make urself sick so that u dont be sick later on....


im thinking maybe its to do with control.... u dont mind V*ing wen ur in control, but wen ur not in control, u do mind v*ing...


therefore, u will allow urself to be sick if ur making urself, but not if ur not..


am i on the right track?


Jen xxxx

[sage]

OT: Jen - that poor kitten! Is it just me, or does his constant twirling make everyone dizzy? LOL!

[Melikasa]

Well everyone asked the same question I did and Jenneh covered what I was thinking as well to a T.
So OT: that IS one psycho kitty

[Jenneh]

lmfao..... yeah.... hes a very restless kitty aint he!!


does it make u guys dizzy? if it does i'll be happy to take it off... dont wanna annoy ne of you, lol.


Jennxxxx

[tara*starr]

Yeh Jenneh got it right i think when she sed:

my impression of ur post is, u hate being sick SO MUCH, u make urself sick so that u dont be sick later on....

im thinking maybe its to do with control.... u dont mind V*ing wen ur in control, but wen ur not in control, u do mind v*ing...

therefore, u will allow urself to be sick if ur making urself, but not if ur not..


I think this is right, and I hate it! The only thing that makes me feel safe is water, cos when I have that in my mouth then I know nothing can happen. The thing is, I play the flute and I am dreading my next lesson because I don't think I can do it without v*ing. Help!!!


And thanx 4 all the replies x x x x

[Jenneh]

i dont think i can imagine what ur going thru... i think this is gnna take a lot of time for me to understand and probably us here to understand...


so, if u cud, cud u tell us wat happens wen ur about to go to ur flute lesson, i mean do u v* before u leave the house? or wen u get there?


btw --- if its easier, im happy for us to talk thru email, msn, AIM, whatever u can do.


im 17 and from the UK too... just so that you know


Jen xxxxxxxx

[tara*starr]

Well the whole v*ing thing is when I have to speak or use my mouth. I have mostly got over this thing, whatever it is, and I am really proud. [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] However the only situation which I cannot handle is my flute lesson because I have to use my mouth a lot and cannot have any water which makes me feel safe. It's stupid because I have been playing for at least 5 years and never had this problem, and then last lesson I was sick and I haven't been able to play since. I don't know what to do, and I don't want to give up something I love because it is cowardly and I will regret it.

I was thinking about giving up though, and I don't know whether to do it now and get on with my life or to try to keep going but possibly not be able to. I need to tell someone because so far nobody knows, and I think I may do that tonight. Aaaarrrrgggghhhhhhh I hate this!!!

[Jenneh]

so ur telling us, some occassions wen u have to use ur mouth.... u end up v*ing??


but, do u actually fear this v*ing action or not?? cause a classic sign of an emetophobe is they'd do NETHINH BUT v*.... so they wudnt hesitate to say,m give up the flute.... if it means they dont have to v* nemore..


im a bit concerned tht u v* evrytime u use ur mouth tho... or just wen u play the flute... do u think its just down to nerves? i wud really urge u to tell someone


Jen xxxxxxxx

[tara*starr]

Thank you so much for being so supportive and kind, I really appreciate it. I have been made to feel at home even though I only joined yesterday, and I am going to take your advice, Jen, and tell someone.

Wish me luck!!

Hope you are ok, thank you for everything. x x x x

[Jenneh]

good luck tara... .hope this person you confide in is understanding and what-not!!


glad to hear u feel at home. this is a truly great place.


Jen xxxxx

[izzybee]

Hello. I seem to have missed this topic!! I would love to hear more about your fear as It is something compleatly differnt to the usual symptoms we get on here.


Please tell me if this is correct or not:


You fear v*, maybe in a public place or in a certasin situation. So you make your self sick so that you wont in the situation that you are scared of??


I hope thatis right but please tell me if anything is wrong!


I also play the flute and understand how you feel, Sometimes when you've just eaten or ahvent had much to drink blowing out of your mouth for a long period of time can sometimes make you feel ill, and I'm so sorry you have had a bad experiance whilst playing your flute.


Dont let this make you give up the flute. If it something you love then dont give it up just because of this phobia, then you'l end up giving up everything. I personally find playing the flute an escape and find it a help to get into the music and forget about stuff, but we are all different. Do you have individual lessons or do you play in a band? Whichever of thoses you should be able to drink some water in your lessons! I'm sure your teacher wouldnt mind. Maybe take a break for a few weeks and see how things go.


I'm glad that you are finding that this site is helping, I certainly dnt know what I would do without this site!


Best wishes for the future!!!!!

[izzybee]

Life is never simple I'm afriad! But I wish it was!!!


I am so sorry that your mum isnt supportive as it really doesnt help the situation. But please keep trying to talk to her and tell her all about this, you could even show her the site or just open up everything. Its probably hard for her to be told that her daughter has a problem etc etc and she may just be over concerned?But if you cant get your mum to be supportive there are always friends and other family members who may be more understanding, and of course we are all here if you ever need to talk but obviously its alot easier talking to someone in your family.


Realistically it would be better to go to your flute lesson. Unfortunatly we all have to do things we are scared of and things we dont want to do, but i nthe end it makes us stronger as emets. If you want to give up the flute then that is fine, especially as it is making you stressed. I would suggest going to 1 more flute lesson. Then you wont get the feeling of just walking away which will do nothing for your self esteem. If not tomorrow, then next week. Then you can have one final lesson and get it all over and done with in 1/2 hour then its all done and you never have to do it again. And who knows, when you get to your lesson (and drink your water!!) you may start to realise that things arnt that bad, or you may think that what you are doing is b* awful adn you never want to do it again. But we have to try things and challenge ourselves unfortunatly.


I must stress that I dont want to force you into doing something and please dont think that I am telling you what to do! But its certainly something to consider!!


I really hope things start to get better for you. Please keep updating!

[izzybee]

Edited by: izzybee

[sage]

The problem with not going is that then your brain will tell you from now on that there's really something to be afraid of - which there isn't. You know what I mean - some danger involved in flute-playing. The thing about vomiting is that humans DO have some sort of control over it. If you just go to your lesson and make your mind up NOT to vomit, then you won't. Especially since you're not actually sick. If you were poisoned or something, it might not be possible to control it, but it is possible for you. Then you WILL feel much more control, and then you can go again.


If you give up the flute then you will always believe that flute-playing or not having water in your mouth puts you in some sort of mortal danger. This irrationality leads to a worse phobia. Perhaps try taking a bottle of water, and if you feel panicky, just stop playing and sip on it. There's no shame in telling your teacher that you are very afraid now after what happened before, and hopefully he or she will be kind and help you to calm down.


Good luck!

[tara*starr]

That's really good advice!

Yeh I think that's right. I thought I had got over this thing a couple of years ago, but it has come back. I thought that I had got over it again and was really proud and then it happened at my flute lesson and it has set me off again! I don't know what to do because I have to go to my flute lesson tomorrow because I have cancelled three times in a row. If I go though I know that I won't be able to play and will probably v****.

I was thinking about giving up my flute because I already play 2 other instruments which don't require my mouth (piano and organ), but it doesn't make tomorrow go away. If I talk to my mum she will just tell me I am being silly like she did when I had it before, but I really need to tel someone. If I go tomorrow and be sick then she wil know anyway, so should I just tell her and get it over with?

I have been dreading this lesson for weeks because I know that if I can make it through this one then I can do any of them, but if I can't then it may restart my 'problem'. I really want it to just be over as I am planning to go to Africa with my school next year and I can't be v****ing the whole time whilst I am there.

Why is nothing simple?!

[crazybeautiful]

I am really confused. You have a fear of V* but you V* before playing the flute? Why do you feel the need to throw up? Do you make yourself?

[izzybee]

Life is never simple I'm afriad! But I wish it was!!!


I am so sorry that your mum isnt supportive as it really doesnt help the situation. But please keep trying to talk to her and tell her all about this, you could even show her the site or just open up everything. Its probably hard for her to be told that her daughter has a problem etc etc and she may just be over concerned?But if you cant get your mum to be supportive there are always friends and other family members who may be more understanding, and of course we are all here if you ever need to talk but obviously its alot easier talking to someone in your family.


Realistically it would be better to go to your flute lesson. Unfortunatly we all have to do things we are scared of and things we dont want to do, but i nthe end it makes us stronger as emets. If you want to give up the flute then that is fine, especially as it is making you stressed. I would suggest going to 1 more flute lesson. Then you wont get the feeling of just walking away which will do nothing for your self esteem. If not tomorrow, then next week. Then you can have one final lesson and get it all over and done with in 1/2 hour then its all done and you never have to do it again. And who knows, when you get to your lesson (and drink your water!!) you may start to realise that things arnt that bad, or you may think that what you are doing is b* awful adn you never want to do it again. But we have to try things and challenge ourselves unfortunatly.


I must stress that I dont want to force you into doing something and please dont think that I am telling you what to do! But its certainly something to consider!!


I really hope things start to get better for you. Please keep updating!

[Jenneh]

i tried to post this last night, but it wudnt let me so ill try again...


basically i dont think u are emetophobic. you have an anxiety disorder YES,m but i dont think its emetolphobia.


simply because if u were emetophobic there wud be NO WAY u'd let urself v* everyday before you play the flute or smthing.


i think you need to keep working with ur mum nd mayb see the docs saying "i think i have an anxiety disorder" let them diagnose u with whatever one it is.


Jen xxxxxx

[Melikasa]

It almost sounds like a case of bulimia nervosa. Where you let your self or make your self sick so you can have control. Which is opposite of emetophobia in that we fight for the control NOT to and will do anything it takes to NOT v****.


*It isn't the same thing as the bulimia where you make yourself sick to have control over your weight just over your body.*

[Jenneh]

interesting point melikasa.


maybe u cud look tht up tarra and see if it gets u anywhere?


Jen xxx

[sage]

What the heck is wrong with this thread? I could have sworn I replied to her, but the reply seems to be posted before one of her posts...


WEIRD!


Anyway, GO TO YOUR FLUTE LESSON!!! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]Muster up all the courage you can and go...otherwise you'll be more scared later. Take your water, and sip it if you feel sick. Also TELL YOUR TEACHER and your parents what you fear, and let them help you...Take it slowly and bit by bit you'll get over it.


If you avoid, your phobia will get much worse. Next time it won't be flute, but it will be something else.


And by the way, any phobic or anxiety response related to vomiting in any way is "emetophobia"...some people have milder versions of it, some very severe ...and it is manifested in many different ways, but the same name.

[tara*starr]

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!

Before I went to my flute lesson I talked it through with my Mum and she was great. She came with me to my lesson and we discussed it with her. I didnt' feel like I could play yet so we talked through my pieces and organised a lesson for three weeks time. I have to try just a bit at a time and hopefully we will work it out. And I didn't v**** before the lesson either!

I feel so much happier! You have all been fabulous and have realy helped m, so thank you.

Hope you are all ok! x x x x

[izzybee]

I am so glad things turned out fine and that you didnt v* which is probably a huge step that you have taken. well done!!!


sage: something went wierd with my account but I think the problem has been solved now

[sage]

WOO HOO Tara! You are a star!!


And so is everyone on this board for being so positive and encouraging you to go. Do you realize that you may have just saved yourself a LIFE OF HELL by facing your fear rather than avoiding it?? And you guys were so right to take it a little at a time. Next time just play one note or something, then tell yourself you're alright. Little by little you'll see there's nothing to fear. And the more you talk about it with your mom and your teacher, the better. You also need to know that even if you did vomit, it's not the worst thing in the world. It's ok. A bit of a "situation" at the time, but then it's over and no harm done. Embarassing?-yes. Not such a nice situation?-yes, but it's not life-or-death or nuclear war, right?


WOO HOO - I'm so happy we were all here and this board helped a lot!!!


[img]smileys/smilies_39.gif[/img]

[Melikasa]

That is SOOOO awsome Tara. I am soooo glad that you went. Sage is sooo right. You saved yourself a lot of trouble by not only going but by talking to your mom. Grats hun BIG hugs

[Jenneh]

Sage: i was hoping u'd pop up and comment too.... so u think tara is emetophobic even though she almost (from what iv read) makes herself sick?? cause thats not avoiding v* is it?? thats another kinda control issue...


Jen xxx


p.s. i may have just read the posts wrong.. i was having trouble understanding them anyway [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]

[sage]

emetophobia just means "fear of vomit". Any fear response that a) meets the criteria for phobia andb) isrelated to vomit would be diagnosed "emetophobia". The DSM-IV criteria for phobia are:
<UL>
<LI>strong, persistent, or excessive fear</LI>
<LI>the phobic stimulus provokes an anxiety response (in the body)</LI>
<LI>patient realizes the fear is unreasonable</LI>
<LI>patient avoids the phobic stimulus or endures it with severe distress</LI>
<LI>marked distress with the fear, or it interferes with the patient's usual routines or social, job or personal functioning</LI>[/list]