sooooo tired of this! (and an intro)

[gator]

Hello Everyone,

I'm so glad I found this place.

I've been afraid of v* for as long as I can remember. I am constantly
afraid of doing it, feeling n* (even tho I'm not even convinced I REALLY
know what that feels like anymore!)! The funny thing is I haven't done "it"
for probably 15 years (I'm 26) - so why am I CONSTANTLY thinking I am
going to do it??? Lately I have been waking up during the night with this
awful weird feeling in my throat. I panic that I will v* ... even though I
know my stomach doesn't even hurt! Its weird.

Last night was bad ... one of the worst in a while. I woke up at 4 a.m. and
felt really really sick. I got out of bed to get some water and eat
sometihng (which I know sounds weird, but it always makes me feel
better) and fell into a massive panic attack. I ended up in bed with the
rom spinning, my ears ringing, my heart punding, and covered in cold
sweat. I'm not sure if I actually passed out, but I think I did. And then I
ended up so exhausted and tired and scared that I slept through my first
few classes today (law school). This was worse than usual, but I'm tired
of constantly worrying about it.

The crazy thing is that I participate in a sport that OFTEN leads to v*ing
during the course of an event! Sometimes I wonder if its my own way of
facing that fear over and over and over again, in a situation that *I* chose
and *I* control!

I'm just so tired of it ...

Anyway, just wanted to tell a little of my story and introduce myself and
whine about the night I had last night. I have already learned a lot just by
reading the posts here, I hope to learn more

[daffodil]

Welcome! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]Waking up to a panic attack is just awful, I can definitely relate.
May I ask what sport you participate in?

[gator]

Thanks - yeah, its awful!

I do triathlons (Ironman distance).

[mars]

Hi Gator - Welcome!


I can sympathise with the panic attacks in the night. They are so frightening aren't they? I used to get them a lot, espcially when I was under pressure at work or just really tired.


I found that hypnotherapy helped with these. Although I am still very scared of v* and haven't done it for over 20 years.


You'll get lots of support here. M x

[kel12347]

Welcome. What law school do you go to? I graduated from NIU Law in 2003.

[harmonygirl72]

Kel,


I went to NIU, too! (That does mean Northern Illinois University, right?) I graduated in 1994, so I am OLD, but maybe we have some common experiences there!


Mary

[6pksummer]

Welcome gator...