I know I post a lot onew topics so don't be annoyed with me, but I had a question for Sage.


Okay from since I can remember I've been afraid of vomiting. But not me personally doing it, it was always the fear that someone else would do it. Always.


I used to eat anything and everything that I wanted. I mean I would go to any resturant, eat anything from the menu, even order stuff medium rare or medium well, I ate steak and hamburgers, and corned beef, EVERYTHING.


After I left college and came home to live with my parents again (After flunking out) things started to change drastically. Me and my parents NEVER got along with each other. We would fight all the time. I even remember sleeping the whole day and waking up when they went to bed so I could be by myself the whole night. It was terrible.


My dad controlled EVERYTHING about me. Where I went, how much money I had, even how much I smoked. The only thing that was mine was my computer. It wasn't hooked up to the internet, only the one in his office was and yes he controlled how much time I spent online.


That's when I stopped eating. I remember only a few times I didn't want to eat cause I was afraid I was going to vomit. That lasted about a month or two and I dropped a MASSIVE amount of weight and was hospitilized. But once I was in the hospital I started to eat again...I didn't care how the food was prepared or who it was prepared by, I ate everything and anything.


I gained 18 pounds and was discharged. I was fine, once again I only cared about OTHER people vomiting...never me. A few months later I had my 19th birthday and shortly there after I was kicked out of the house and was living on the street. I was bounced around from shelter to shelter. At this point I was eating any food that I could get my hands on so that wasn't an issue.


Finally I was put in a group home. Have any of you ever had to stay in a group home? There are rules out the ASS at those places. Do what they ask when they ask and DON'T EVER QUESTION them! All of a sudden, BAM, I feared vomiting more then anything. I stopped eating, and was in the hospital a lot for stomach pain (Phantom stomach pain)


My fear of ME vomiting has been BAD ever since I was in that group home. So I just wanted to ask Sage if she thought that going through being homeless and then in a strict environment where I had no control could cause enough truama for ME to fear vomiting. And if so, I am out of the group home and I have my own apartment, but I still fear myself vomiting more then anything. If I'm done with that truama wouldn't my fear of ME vomiting go away?


Sorry for the long post but I had to explain some things that were important to the question I had.


~Monica