i’m new here, maybe you can help me

[arayofhope]

It's such a relief knowing i'm not the only one with this problem. I'm in the process of trying to understand what's happening to me, and maybe you can help me so here's my story.


First, I think I pinpointed what initially sparked my fear of v*. When Iwasin first grade, I woke up one morning to my mother yelling for my father saying that the cat was throwing up blood. I didn't see anything though because I chose to hide under my covers and pray that my cat would be okay. They took her outside and she wound up passing away on the deck. We called my grandpa who was gonna come and help bury the cat later after i went to school. I remember looking out onto the deck as I left and I saw my cat lying there, motionless, with a few blood drops around her. I was devastated. Since then, throwing up has terrified me.


In 3rd grade for some reason I got it in my head that i might throw up if I eat. So I struggled with that for a year until somehow I just decided to eat normally one day and was seemingly fine. Still, I'd flip out if any of my classmates threw up.


Fast forward to present day. It was about two months ago I went on my first overnight field trip for Deca at my highschool. I am such a homebody, but I felt it would be a good experience. Naturally I got rather homesick, and the following morning I didn't feel that well, but I had to compete. I saw some girl eat a croissont and for some reason I began to dry heave. There was nothing for me to throw up cuz I hadn't eaten yet because it was early in the morning. I managed to force myself to compete aftewards, but the entire day I was terrified. The next morning I remmebered what happened the morning before, and I dry heaved again, terrified. I tried to make myself sit through the awards ceremony but I had the overwhelming urge to get out of there or I'd lose my mind because my heart was beating so fast. Since I got home, nothing has been the same. I'm constantly afraid of randomly throwing up although I know it's stupid. At first I'd hardly eat anything, and I fell into a depression where I was constantly in a dark place and always wanted to just stay in bed. I was afraid to go out in fear of making myself dry heave and embarrass myself in front of people. That feeling is still there, though not as bad. I'm also afraid to eat in front of people. I really can't stand living like this... I don't want to miss out on fun things in life just because I'm afraid of either making myself dry heave or throw up. HELP!

[daffodil]

Welcome, I wish I had some answers for you, I'm just muddling thru myself. You will find a lot of support and info on this forum. This place has been a godsend for me and a lot of others.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[honeybee]

dry heaving is really horrible! you have to calm yourself down when it happens, because making yourself more anxious will only make the situation worse!

[spilled_milk]

Welcome!


<3 Anya--

[suze]

Welcome to the site! I think I have something similar to you in that although I do fear the act of v*, my biggest fear is embarassing myself in front of others. I too start to panic in situations where I feel trapped and I have to be in the right 'zone' mentally to be able to eat in front of others. I have never had any treatment for this, but it has got better over time in that it doesn't affect me as often as it used to. It hasn't gone away completely though. My way of coping with this has been to just push myself a little bit to do the things that make me feel anxious, and then to keep in my mind how I felt during those times and what happened to me - nothing ever has happened in fact, and the more of those experiences you have the more you just learn to accept that yeah, I'm anxious, I want to get out of here, I'm scared I might throw up in front of all these people, but last time I felt this way, I was fine, so I will be fine this time. It doesn't always work but things are improving.


i think your first step, if you haven't done so already, is to see your doctor and confess to him/her everything that you have been feeling and what has brought it on. As you can see from this site, it's not an uncommon phobia, so don't feel worried about expressing how you feel. This might be your first step towards getting your life back together.


Good luck

[purpleteacher]

I dry heave when I'm anxious or when I'm really stressed out. It is terrible and I, too, have connected my dry heaves with experiences that wouldn't normally be unpleasant. Sometimes my dry heaves happen when my stomach gets too empty and when my mind starts to stress --- talk about uncomfortable?


I have been getting dry heaves at work the last week or so too because I'm under so much stress, but have to work through it. I just don't eat until I get home in case the dry heaves turn into wet heaves.


I completely feel for you... but I am going to encourage you to work through them. Don't let them control your life or they will only get worse. You can help control them by giving yourself a "saftey net" of what will happen if you do manage to get sick in public.
1. Carry a plastic bag or some other bag with you at all times. If you do happen to get sick, you have a bag with you (I have been carrying one in my purse lately for this exact reason!)>
2. Anti-acids, gum, anti-nauseals, etc...carry a few in your purse. Peppermints might also help. Getting the saliva going can help with the acid, from what I have been told (which is why gum works supposedly).
3. Water or non-caffinated soda. I carry a water bottle all the time and I avoid caffeine when I am going through a phase of excessive dry heaves.

[honeybee]

you could try a paper bag to breate into. this would calm you down as it is reducing the amount of oxegen, which enhances adrenline, going into your body.

[surfjunkie]

You have come to the right place and are surrounded by people all over
the world who can totally relate to everything that you are feeling and
going through. This website has been a God send to me the past few
weeks.

I agree with feeling prepared. That will ease a lot of your tension. I
always have gum or mints close at hand and that helps me a ton. I have
also started doing yoga. This is a wonderfully calming practice that can
help in any situation. Not that you would immediately break into "child's
pose" if you were feeling anxious, but you would learn some breathing
strategies to help calm the anxiety. You will also become aware of how to
shift your thinking into "thinking mode" rather than "fight or flight" mode
which helps bring a more realistic spin on the situtation.

Best of luck to you! You can always count on the people here to help you
through!

[arayofhope]

Hey, thanks a ton guys. What i'm trying to do now is push myself to go out as often as possible because it just might help me get used to it again and not be so nervous. Sure its so difficult at first, but once i'm at the place, i'm usually okay. It's the anticipating of going that sends it off.

[sage]

hi, welcome to the site.


I would suggest you be sure to visit the Treatments section of this discussion forum and read through all the sticky posts and important topics at the top...there is a lot ofinfo there to help you, your parents, your dr. to find you the help you need. you don't need to suffer with thisphobie - you're young, you could get really good treatment now and your life would be great.


let us know if we can help at all!