hard to make new friends?

[honeybee]

I dont know about you guys, but i find it really hard to make new friends, especially when i am in a large social group. i often have one or two very close friends, but then the other people in a large group i find hard to get on with, often because of their obssesions with going out every night and v* and whats worse is they talk about it graphically the next day at college!
well my problem is that my close friends are leaving to go to uni next year, so i will be left on my own. i am frightened, because i dont really know anyone that will be staying and i will be one big loner at school.
i hate being on my own especially at school. it really freaks me out and i find my self think about unwanted thoughts. my friends distract me from this, and i become more outgoing when i am with them.
another problem is that because i live quite close to college, i tend to go home alot which decrases anxiety, but also decreases the amount of friends i have, as people will often stay for luch where i will go home.
any suggestions on how to make new friends?

[daffodil]

Could you join some clubs or organizations of things that interest you? That might help you meet people you have something in common with. Not everyone is a big party-till-you-p*** person. I never was. Steer clear of the hard core partyers if it makes you nervous, and find people who enjoy some of the things you do.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[honeybee]

its really hard though, i tend to go home for lunch and free lessons, so it isnt too bad, my auntie says your not there to make friends

[daffodil]

I think part of going to college can be meeting new people, and making new friends. True, you are there to learn, but meeting new people is a part of this learning process. I know it is really hard, but maybe you could try staying for lunch like once a week, or make that a goal. Even if you stick around for only 15 mins, it would be an accomplishment. You could set small goals for yourself, like just saying "hi" to a new person every week. It is this small stuff you can build on, and it won't seem so overwhelming.

[izzybee]

I found it very difficult to make friends when I moved to college last year. I think my problem was that I didnt stay in college at lunch and in free's - I was too scared to sit on my own, but thinking about it now that probably would have been best. I have had some experiances this year where I did start to make friends. I helped out on the college production in January and met laods of people through that who were all really nice. I think you just have to be brave and chat to people. At the beginning of the year there will be more people looking for friends so start chatting to people in your class or just in the que of lunch of something. It gets easier as you practise. Im hoping that in september I'l be able to start making more friends in the new subjects that im taking

[honeybee]

i will try to be more social, but some times i just want to curl up in a ball on my own and just be left there. its really hard to do that when you are trying to make new friends. i also get negative thoughts like do they actually like me, or do they just feel sorry for me? i know this is probally not true, but it just crosses my mind!


good news though, i have met someone who is staying at school next year, who also has IBS, so we have something in common! i am really pleased and hope we can become good friends.