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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2004


    Is two emets better that one? Does anyone have any tips for us so as we don't make eachother worse??

    (the text below may bea little too descriptive for severe emets)

    I started dating Dee about 5 months ago. Our first date was to be dinner and scary movies at her place. The beginning of the first video we popped in had a graphic scene that would turn any emets stomach. At that point in my "healing" process I was not affected by movie V** so much. It made me anxious but I didn't feel sick or panicked by it. As the scene came on I was annoyed but not scared. However, to my surprise, Dee panicked and yelled "Oh God I hate it when people P--- !" as she fumbled for the remote. I couldn't help but smile. I knew had found a real live emet friend- and a beautiful one at that. I told her about emetophobia- she never knew it had a name.
    Since then we have had a wonderful relationship. We have many things in commom and it's nice to have someone understand my phobia. I have, however, noticed at times that her being phobic makes me a bit worse and she says the same about me. We are definitely different types of Emets.
    If we are out and I say"Oh god I saw P***" she wants to see it. I used to have to see it but I've learned to spare myself the suffering. If she looks and comments on it, it makes me more likely to go from anxious and disgusted to outright panicked. I have learned that the best plan for me is to not see it and if I know it's there, I get out of the vicinity ASAP (when my palpitations stop, I reward myself with something pleasurable).
    Since we have been together, I feel like I've gotten worse when we go out. I may feel worse because I drink less. Alcohol was my "band aid" for the phobia. If I am buzzed I will be phobic but not panick, if I am totally drunk It's all the better. Ironically, If I am too drunk I may V** .
    I learned In high school that it is much easier to V** when drunk. I hadn't V**ed in years until that one night when I was 15 and I got drunk. I was so reliveed that I did it and it didn't kill me. So far V**ing while drunk has helped me ralize that it's not that bad, but I still try my hardest to avoid it.
    Dee is very open about her phobia with anyone whereas I tried to not let anyone know when I was suffering. Now it is brought up a lot, and I'm not used to that. Sometimes I'm not even thinking about it when she brings it up and I feel like she just ruined a good moment for me. On the other hand, she is more brave than I and perhaps she can teach me to be brave? She was my hero when she hosed someone's V** off the curb in front of my house last month. I don't see how she did it. Conversely, I can clean up after my dogs and cats and not feel affected, but she is grossed out by it (and then her being grossed out makes me feel queezy).
    I think overall we are at the same level of phobia but we have different versions of it.

    So, does anyone have any tips for us to not make eachother worse??

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    United Kingdom


    wow. firstly i'd like to say, that altho having two emets together can make each other worse, but as u say, u can both wrk together to make each other better. im in the same position, where my form tutor at school is tryin to split me and my friend up because we're both anorexic, and she thinks tht we're making each other worse.

    anyway, i think its good that u 2 can be such good friends, because it must mean ur aware when each other just needs a little bit of time away from evry1 or smthing.. oh, i dnno wot im saying lol.

    i think 2 emets being close is a good thing, until u start adopting their coping mechanisms for ur own. as an example: say ur friend was to only touch door handles with her sleeve, and you, dont usually hav this habit., but you start to adopt it just because its what she does. i dont mean to offend you, i got offended when my mother said that to me at first. but, i know that uv most likely got a strong enough character to not follow in her footsteps and stuff, its just a kinda warning.

    i dont konw if either of you get ne help, or indeed if uthink u need it, but i think mayb its smthing u shud consider, cos u can go in it together and support each other thru that too.

    anyway i hope ur relationship with Dee grows stronger and stronger, and btw, welcome to our family

    best wishes

    Jen xxxxxxxxxx
    Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn\'t be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn\'t know that so it goes on flying anyway.

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