My heart is filled with much sadness as I sit down to write this. It has been an awful day. My partner was off today from work and wanting to get out and about. Despite how I feel I usually always go out since we don't get out much with how difficult this pregnancy has been and my anxiety. We didn't have anything real planned out but I had to pick up my contacts then we would go from there. As most times I was feeling anxious and panicy. I always voice when I feel that way. Didn't get the best response back however. He seemed very agitated and said "I can't go anywhere without you feeling that way!" I said I was sorry but since being pregnant it has become a lot worse for me. I had him run in to get the contacts and while he was in I took a small piece of Xanax so I would be able to get through the day. I really did not want to ruin it for him....his birthday is tomorrow. He does not like me taking the Xanax but I know me and my body and I think that sometimes it will be best then getting so worked up and panic. You know this is where it gets me....when he met me I was NOT near this bad with anxiety and or panic. It was very well controlled so this is all a bit new to him. Nor was this pregnancy really planned although very welcomed. I did not know what I was in for when it came to MS, coming off of meds that weren't safe for pregnancy, and at the time living at his parents which made it all that much worse, also parents recently divorced. I have come to find since being on with this group and other groups about emetophobia that I cope rather well compared to a lot of people. I luckily got help at a young age and to my knowledge have it very mildly although being pregnant has really brought it all back up to the surface. Some of you talk about things that worry you or you avoid when you know someone has been sick and I have never even thought of those things. In fact on one site I am on I have tried to help others and a lot of them have asked me if I was cured. No I was never cured but I cope rather well. I'm not OCD and don't take many precautions compared to most. To be honest I never really worry to much until I have been around someone with a sv. Anyway my point being that I am proud of myself and how far I have come. It has NOT been easy. Then to think here I am pregnant and really struggling and he has NO patience with me. So many women wouldn't even leave if they felt they would be sick or where having an anxiety attack. Not me though I carry on and try my best to get through what he is wanting to do. I just couldn't believe the things that came out of this mouth. One of my biggest fears as of now was being in the middle of a movie(in theatre) and feeling really sick and needing to leave. I haven't had to deal with any of these fears for awhile because I have done so well....all until getting pregnant. Being pregnant like I said brought all this on and very strongly. But no I went out to eat at a buffet and went to a movie with him. I take a lot of precautions now that I am pregnant and one of those being not to put my fingers in my mouth if my hands aren't clean and I keep trying to enforce that with my partner. He is good about it most of the time(not as much as me) but while in the movie theatre I noticed his fingers on his lips and asked him to not do that. He freaked out and said "you bug the hell out of me sometimes!" This really hurt and after all the comments he so freely said today I was WORKED up. You know he said all you do is sit at that computer on your emetophobia site...blah,blah, blah. THIS REALLY HURTS and I find it really rude! I go on these sites to better myself and be of help to others! Pregnancy has not come easy to me. It honestly has been the most trying thing I have been through yet and trust me I have been through a lot. He went on in the car how I don't give a crap about our relationship and how I ruined his birthday...its not even until tomorrow. I can't tell you how much sadness this brings me...sometimes I just want to crawl in a hole and die. I want this baby more then anything and h