pitfall...

[Jenneh]

saw psychiatrist today FOR THE LAST TIME..... which is good, but its also quite bad lol.


but, i just cudnt stop crying and crying this morning, before i had to go see him, i think it was a mixture of being so plain scared and so angry thst i hd to make my own way there because my parents didnt want to come....


i really just wish they wud tell me they're proud of me for getting thru this ... or tell me that they're there for me if i need em... but NO... a teacher has to do that job for them...and im not gnan see this supportive teacher for along long time now its summer hol's


so, im quite depressed for tht reason..


but i am happy that im not seeinf this psychiatrist every again... as he just makes me DREAD seeing him so much....


this is a bit of a pointless post really... guess i just wanted to say,... HEY GUYS! lol


Jen xxxxxxxxxxxx

[x hannah x]

I'm sorry you're depressed Jen [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]But just focus on the fact that you don't have to see the psychiatrist again. I'm sure your parents do care, but sometimes it's awkward saying stuff like that. Do you feel that he helped you at all.

[Jenneh]

to be honest with you Hannah, i dont know if he helped at all.


if he did help, i wouldnt be able to say what hes done... but mayb its just subtle...dunno..


lol


Jen xxx

[x hannah x]

But was it good to get it out of your system or something? To be honest, I don't think my therapist helped at all, we just talked about stuff and she made me put my hand in a bag of fake v*! And now every time something scares me mum says "But you're cured" and I'm like "THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!!!"

[Jenneh]

forcing an emetophobe to put their hand in a fake bag of v* is NO WAY GNNA CURE YOU.... what the hell? iv never heard nething so STUPID in my life??? if someone made me do that, it wud make my phobia worse... and if any non-emetophobe did that.. i expect they have a high cahnce of either v*ing themselves, or becoming emetophbic!! lol


sorry but that just sounds stupid....


my bf keeps going to me, "but ur cured"... and its lke.... i kow u can get competly cured, cause Sage is, but i dont think ill ever be completley cured. especially with only 6 months of my therapy left.


jen xxxx

[Melikasa]

BIG HUGS.
Aw hun I am sure that is how it feel now, but think of all the emotions you are realizing and facing. I am sure that your parents are finding it hard to confront you with this. It isn't something that is easy to talk about and I am sure they are awkwad bringing it up. Maybe if you are in a situation where you can say :I would love a little comforting right now"
Some is better than none and you are making your way there. As long as you are comfortable with the pace. 6 months is a long time when you think about it. You don't know what can be accomplished in that amount of time. A lot can be in 1/2 a year.
Get your mind ready to punch the hell outta that emet. I hope that we can help keep your spirits up on here I am sure there is someone on here that is good to talk to for you. I am here when you need someone E-mail or PM or chat.

[Jenneh]

thanks melikasa, ur a little angel.


my "inner strengths" ( lol sorry its cheesy) has increased a lot today... i feel like punching the living daylights out of this thing once and for all today! lol


sumthing my psychiatrist said to me yestryda, interested me.


i sat in there with him talking about v*ing and stuff, with my social wporker, Catherine near-by. and my psych turns to Catherine and goes " i bet ur feeling quite ill now cause of all this talk about v* and stuff" and she just kinda... did an awkwrd giggle and smile, lke she always does, lol, but then he turned to me and goes " but i bet ur not are you?"


and i cud safely say that i wasnt... even tho i was sitting there talking about it and what-not it didnt scare me and make me nauseous lke it used to.


so i guess thats quite a triump really, cause maybe i can be faced with it now, with not as much anxiety as before.. duno, hope so


anyway, thnks guys for always being here for you. im always here for u lot too, i hope u remember.


Jen xxxxxxxxx

[Melikasa]

That is awsome. That was reallya big step. I am sure you will find that once you can talk about it freely that the next steps wont be so hard.Talking about it use to be impossible. The word or thinking that someone was going to talk about it use to freak me out. So proud of you. BIG BIG HUGS.

[Jenneh]

thnku melikasa honey (((big big hugs back)))


i dont think i cud have got tht far wthout this place though... everyone, keep going, its worth it, i promise you.


Jen xxxx