Thank God I’m Not Alone

[danii]

Hi Everyone,


I only joined this forum today as I actually came accross it by accident.


For years I have felt stupid thinking I was the only person on earth who suffered from this phobia. It's only now after reading the messages posted on here that I realise it's such a common one.


I think mine began when I was a young child, throughout most of my childhood my mother was ill and constantly being sick. when I was 13 she passed away. It seemed to stem from then, and just got worse. The thing is if I'm ever sick (which is very rarely thank goodness) I'm fine with that...its if anyone around me is sick thats the problem....I just end up having such a panic attack that I eventually pass out.


When I was pregnant with my first child I hit a bad patch...I had constant panic attacks wondering what I would be like if my baby was sick...eventually I was put in touch with a hypnotherapist who regressed me and came up with the conclusion that because my mother had been so ill when I was a child and then passed away I subconsciously associated every one that vomits with death.....strange or what?


The ironic thing is 12 years ago I had my second child who suffers from a very rare genetic dissorder called ATRX-Syndrome....his condition also means that he suffers from severe oesophagus reflux, which means he constantly regurgitates his food. OK so he has good days and bad days, but I cant help feeling guilty that I have missed out so much on being a proper mother to him....whenever he is having a bad day...its my eldest son who looks after him for me. It wasnt that I didnt want to be there for him...I just couldnt..no matter how hard I tried.


He is now on medication to help the reflux, but some days it can still be really bad, and it hurts me more than words can say that I cant be there for him and help him.


I would really appreciate if anyone knew some treatment or anything I could get to overcome this phobia. It has not only spoilt my life as I didnt even spend my youth going out to places such as pubs and clubs for fear of anyone being ill after drinking, but its now spoiling my childrens life as I cant be there for them if Im needed.....I mean what other mother would put her fingers in her ears while her child was being sick and ask if they are "alright".


Thanks for listening

[crimgoddess]

Hi Danii- first off, welcome to the site. I am like you- I can handle it if I am sick myself, but the moment someone around me is sick I go into a panic.


I suggest you check out the treatment forum- there is a lot of info there related to treatment and what other have found to be successful. From what I have read, the best bet for beating this involve a combination of cognitive-behavioural therapy and exposure therapy.


Cognitive-behavioural therapy basically works to change your thinking errors relating to vomit- if your mind associates vomitting with death, then you have to work on changing those thought processes which enable this. Exposure therapy works gradually to expose you to factors relating to vomit- starting with words and then pictures and videos. You move gradually, and only go to the next level once the previous level is no longer a source of anxiety.


Goodluck with everything!!


*amber*

[oivey]

"I subconsciously associated every one that vomits with death.....strange or what?"


nope not at all. That is exactly what with me and this phobia. My mom was also very sick when I was little. She suffered from seizures and when I was little everytime she went into a big convulsion I thought I wascursed to throw up later on in the day or week. Ironically, through that time I went through many stomach flu's

[sage]

HI - and welcome to the site. It was soooo interesting to read your post because this is EXACTLY my story. My dad was very sick and died when I was 9 and he played the "mother" role in our family, so it's very similar. I have been completely successfully treated now and have no anxiety at all, but I was SO BAD for so long it was crazy. Just like you said, it was like vomiting=death...in every way! MY death!


Anyway, thanks Crimgoddess - ya for sure check out the Treatments section and read all the sticky posts there - that will be a lot of help.


Take care,

[spilled_milk]

Welcome!


Again, just like Oivey, you associating v*ing with death is not weird at all. My dad had a liver disease, and he almost died from it (although my parents only told me the dying part recently). When I was very little I would have to go in to the hospital with him, and I would watch his biopsies, and he would almost squeeze my hand off. One time he started a new medicine, and it made him v* in the middle of the night. So, now i associate v*ing with missing out on life, and being in a life/death situation.


<3 Anya--