New here....help with my 7-year-old

[edgington2000]

I have no idea if I am at the right place, so bear with me. My 7-year-old daughter has a terrible fear of vomiting to the point now that it is affecting her daily life. She is out of school for the summer. She threw up in her bed in the middle of the night probably 6-7 months ago. I don't know what suddenly triggered her terrible fear of vomitingin the last 2 weeks, except that she has had some stomach problems a lot in the last 9 months. Her doctor drew blood a week ago and was normal from what I was told. My daughter has been having these periods of "not feeling good" off and on throughout the day. Not really a tummy ache but just a blah feeling I think. She starts worrying that she will throw up. She hardly eats anymore and fears that everything she eats is going to make her sick. I get her through these episodes by reassuring her, etc. But I am really worried about her emotional health now more than anything. I dont' know if there is a physical problem or not anymore. What should my next step be to help her? Any ideas would be appreciated.

[jodi054]

hello and welcome ...


have you ever thought of therapy ?

[crimgoddess]

Maybe it would be of benefit to have her doctor speak to her about it, and explain why and how our bodies throw up, and that is is a good thing because it is telling is something is wrong. Also, you want to make sure to tell her that you love her no matter what, and that if she throws up it's not really a big deal to you and you will be there for her.


You may want to consider looking into child psychologists who have experience with anxiety issues. However, be careful to make it TOO much of an issue, because then you run the risk of having her focus on it more.


Is there anything else going on in her life or your family life that may be a source of anxiety for her? Often, this fear can become a scapegoat for other issues that may beyond the person's control, or too painful to deal with head on.


*amber*Edited by: crimgoddess

[edgington2000]

I have considered counseling but only as a last resort. I also think this is the culmination of a LOT of stuff that has been going on in the last 8-9 months. We don't have really any family problems per se, but my brother-in-law got arrested about that time, then all the hurricane stuff (we live on Gulf Coast but did not get hit this past season) and new season starting... I tell her I love her all the time and reassure her that it is okay to throw up if she needs to. When she is busy playing or has her mind off it, she does pretty good...so I think I need to focus on keeping her as busy as I can. I work from home so have had to change my schedule up so I work early in the morning and later in the evening. I guess I am just more worried about a physical problem than anything...don't know what else to rule out though from a GI standpoint. She does have reflux and is on Prevacid which has helped her reflux symptoms.

[spilled_milk]

My parents took me to a psychologist when I was nine, and it really helped to control my fear, although hasn't completely cured it. I would do that, but what you need to do is reassure her. Don't blow it out of proportion, and make it seem like v*ing really is a bad thing, but don't dcare her either. The worst thing that you can do is to get mad at her for her reactions, my parents would (and still do) get mad at me a lot when I say that I feel sick, and I think that their reactions just helped cement into my mind that v*ing is a bad thing.


You are a great parent for trying to get help for your child!


<3 Anya--

[sage]

Hi - I agree not to blow it out of proportion. It sounds very much like anxiety to me, and a child's anxiety at that age is almost always triggered by mum's anxiety (or "stress") Perhaps your family situation with the brother-in-law has upped your stress level more than your realize. And of course the hurricane fears are understandable - they can certainly be manifested in a child in some other phobia...totally!


The best "treatment" at this point for her is for you to calm down as much as you can - including "fussing" over her with reassurances or explanations or asking her numerous questions. Try to "shrug off" her problems for a few weeks. By this I don't mean getting angry or upset that she's whining or moaning,...but rather just to adopt a happy, calm, complacent attitude about it and not pay too much attention to it. If it is anxiety, it will (unbelievably) get slightly worse before it gets better. If you react emotionally to it getting worse, it will start the cycle all over again. If you can "stay the course" and not make a big deal of it, then she will "adapt" to the stress, and her anxiety level will go down.


I agree with you that therapy for a child should be a last resort. In my family practice I would see the parents and work with them in one of these cases LONG before even agreeing to see the child.


I hope this helps. There's a great book called "Extraordinary Relationships" by Roberta Gilbert that talks about family systems theory, and how anxiety or stress is manifested in emotional process in afamily, including projecting anxiety onto a child. It's a little book, and easy to read.


Good luck!

[edgington2000]

Thank you for your insight. This morning she got really upset when I put breakfast in front of her. She cried and said she did not feel good...She nibbled at the food. It just dawned on me that her blood sugar in the mornings has probably been really low and that is why she is so emotional in the mornings lately. She has not been eating or sleeping well at all and I think I am just going to start her out with some orange juice and toast or a protein shake for now until she gets past this. I also just took her off milk a few days ago to see if that was aggravating her tummy/bowels, and she is probably not used to not getting her chocolate milk every morning. I am dealing with this now a lot better and trying really hard not to let her see how worried I really am. Any suggestions on foods that I can try and get her to eat especially before bed and in the mornings?

[daffodil]

What are some of her favorite foods? Maybe start with those. If you are worried about her intake, then protein shakes might not be a bad idea. You may want to consult a nutritionist about this as well, since she is a growing kid, and needs good nutrition. You sound like a great parent, kudos to you for seeking help for your daughter! I wish I had had help for this phobia when I was a child.

[samara's on tv]

Yes I would try feeding her, her favorite foods that might tempt her into eating more. Other then that I don't know what to say. What Sage said is good advice, and I totally revere Sage she is awesome! Listen to her! If only my parents would have taken this approach when I was a kid maybe I wouldn't have turned out like I did.


~Monica

[sage]

I agree about the favorite foods. I really think this is anxiety, and it won't matter what you feed her. Just ask happily "what would you like to eat today?" and be totally nonchalant with the answer. Kids won't starve themselves, and they can get away with eating surprisingly little. Remember, as I said, if you calm down she will get remarkably more anxious first, then if you can hang on, she'll get better (and probably get over it). So I'll pray for you to be able to "stay the course" when she eats nothing some day! Just stay calm, and smile and say like "ok! No worries if you don't feel like eating today. Let me know when you do and I'll fix you something."


Give it a whirl! (I know it will be hard, but it's well worth it).

[edgington2000]

Update on things...She's doing better. Starting to eat a little more now. She is sleeping better, which I think has helped her whole outlook tremendously. Thanks to all who replied. I am learning to deal with this and stay calm. She still asks me if what she eats is going to make her throw up, but i just tell her probably not and she eats and is okay. I know she will have her good days and bad days, but i think we will be okay. Thanks again. Going to hang around this site if okay with everyone.


Cynthia

[daffodil]

I'm glad things are going better with your daughter.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] Definitely eating and sleeping well have a positive impact on anxiety. You sound like you are doing a great job with her. Feel free to hang around, and keep us posted on how she is doing. She is lucky to have such good support from you.

[mjewell]

How is she about going to school? Just curious, because that was my main issue when i was her age...I was so anxious about going to school and feeling sick.