Should I or shouldn’t I?

[shiva]

I keep promising my daughter and her cousin that they can have a sleepover at our place for a weekend soon. The problem is that her dad (my step brother) and mom live an hour away from me and the past like 4 times Jade has had company, whichever child who comes over ends up with an upset stomach for whatever reason. Now I am avoiding letting Jade have friends over, which I totally know is not cool. I try to challenge my emet every chance I get, but I think my tolerance for stress is wearing down lately and I don't know how much I can subject myself to.

So my question is... Do I go ahead and invite the child over this weekend and stop talking myself into believing there will be another crisis? Or, should I just cool it for a couple weeks and hope that I will be refreshed and all will be good for her to visit next month when maybe I am not so on edge.

[6pksummer]

Well, this is a tough one. Flu season isn't in full swing now that it is summer. So, I would say that I would rather do it now since my chances are less. I would ask the people that are gonna be sleeping over, or their parents, if anyone around them has been sick. I don't think its terrible to ask that question. Maybe tell a little white lie say that you are gonna be going out of town, or have tickets to a concert and you don't want to get sick and miss out on going. These kids that have ended up with an upset tummy...did they actually get sick. Try to watch what the kids are eating, that may cause an upset tummy too.

[dayna1x]

I totally agree with exactly what 6pksummer said. A little white lie won't hurt and wont make you look as crazy-haha-so I think that would be the best way to go, now that its is not full blown sv season.

[crimgoddess]

Why should anyone have to lie? To me, that is trying to hide the real issue, or gives the impression that you are ashamed of this fear. I don't think it is necessarily inreasonable to ask if anyone has been sick recently- it is your house, your kid, and you don't have to make excuses or justifications for asking.


However, you have to be prepared for the ramifications of the answer- what if one of the parents say that last week their daughter was sick, but now they are fine. What are you going to do? Tell her that she can't come? How is your daughter going to react? Is this knowledge just going to make you more anxious?


BUT- from what I understood from your post, you are only tal king about one child sleeping over, and a family member at that. If I were you, I would get it over with soon, as the longer you let the issue fester, the longer you have to build it up in your mind as a potential disaster. It's likely that you are going to be anxious about this no matter WHEN it occurs, so waiting is not necessarily an advantage to you.


Maybe to make yourself less anxious, you can make sure that they don't have a lot of junk and other stuff which may lead to an upset stomach. If you want to serve soda, serve ginger ale- instead of a lot of candy, maybe you guys can bake cookies together- instead of massive amounts of chips and popcorn, make sure that there are cut veggies and fruit with dip, etc. It will not only be better for them, but less likely to give them the stomach ickies.


Goodluck!


*amber*

[shiva]

Thanks for all the advice. It ended up that she can't come this weekend anyway because she is doing something with her Grandma, so I told them to let me know when she has a free weekend and she is welcome to come stay with us then.
In a way I kinda do want to just get it over with and have more kids over (hoping they will feel fine) so that I no longer see Jade's friends as being some negative, scary thing. You know? Like, I feel if they come over and we have a fine experience, then the latest experience will force the last few out of my mind. I hope that makes sense.

Oh, trust me. I don't feed the kids junk. It's actually pretty sad. I am like sugar control mom. Maybe they are getting sick from withdrawl!? LOL! The first child was sick because we were rear ended and she was in shock. She didn't vomit, but she turned green and thought she was gonna. The second one got car sick. Again, didn't vomit, but thought she was gonna. The third I think she had over exertion from a bike ride I took them on. She just got a 'tummy ache', but it passed and she was fine. The next weekend she came over though, she ended up being dehydrated and had a migraine and I think she actually did vomit, but wouldn't tell me. I am not quite sure but I had to call my ex husband to rescue me from the situation and drive her to her grandma. The last situation sucked the worst, so I just have that experience fresh in my mind and it's bothering me a lot. Most of what bothers me is how I treat these kids when they are feeling sick around me. I am not exactly comforting and I get pissed at myself for that.

[6pksummer]

Well at least it does sound like all the kids have not been sick cause of the sv*. That is always a good thing!!