My daughter

[threecoolcats]

Hi. I'm new here and I'm really discouraged today. Last week a SV went through my family - my 6 month old daughter started it, then I got it, my mom and dad and finally my husband. I was panicked the whole time. The WHOLE time. When it was over for me I just wanted to run out of the house screaming. I started cleaning and really couldn't stop.


Now, my Mother In Law, who has been watching my daughter all week, has the same stomach virus. I feel so badly because even though I KNOW I really probably can't get it again, I am reluctant to pick her up from her daycare now and can't help but view her as a potential contaminent. She stayed overnight with my MIL so I haven't been exposed but I just want to hug her and kiss her and love her and I'm sooo afraid I'll get sick again and the whole family will. I can't do it again this soon. It was all I could do to stay sane the first time.


I live in a very small town with no resources other than the college I work at. I'm so tired of this affecting me life. I knew this would happen when I had kids, and I'm so very, very ashamed I can't get past the fear and just be happy to play with my daughter who I haven't seen in two days.


Sorry for the poor me, I'm just so tired of this! And so ashamed!

[shiva]

Hey there. Welcome to the site. Don't be so hard on yourself and don't be ashamed. These things happen and you should just be proud of yourself that you made it through the worst part. The only thing that I can think to suggest is just making yourself do the things that are making you feel uncomfortable. Go pick her up and spend time with her. Eventually these feelings should fade and life will go back to normal. The longer you wait to get things back on track the longer you are perpetuating your own anxiety. In other words, you're just dragging it out. I am sure you are doing your best, just keep trying.

[suze]

Welcome to the site. I understand exactly how frightened you feel and how this makes you feel as a mother. Believe me, I have been there. The good news on this occasion is that as you have already had the sv, you won't catch it again so feel free to cuddle your daughter to your heart's content.


In future though, Shiva is right here, you must try and take very small steps. If you keep avoiding the situation then it just won't improve for you. I never dealt with my kids when they were sick, until I split with my husband - now I have to. And you know what, as much as I hate it, I can do it - and it's not as bad as I thought it would be.


As I said, next time, do something that usually you avoid, no matter how small it seems - this will be a huge step forward and will give your confidence a boost. It will also make you feel good about yourself as a mother. All you can do is do your best, remember that!


If it helps, most mums don't catch things from their kids - I breastfed my daughter through two sv's adn was fine. Just keep the place disinfectedif it happens, keep your hands clean and don't touch your face. Also make sure your kids wash their hands after v* or d*. These things can be avoided to some extent.


Good luck, and don't be hard on yourself. I'm sure you're a fantastic mother!

[threecoolcats]

Hi guys. Thank you for your posts. Here we are again (I think) and my daughter has a bad respiratory infection and has been V****** everytime we give her formula. Now my dad is dizzy and V******* as well. I have made myself hug and kiss her since she has obviously felt badly for over a week but I can't stop the panic. There isn't even thought. I don't know that she has a SV per se, because she can hold down medicine and other fluids.


But now we're dealing with my dad being sick and he was with us all day yesterday and kissing and holding my daughter. There will be fear and waiting all over again.


My husband is so wonderful, and he's trying to understand, but I want to cry. I hate this part of me and I don't want to be this person anymore. I just want to curl in a ball and scream "Help Me" to make this go away. It's so depressing. I just want to cry.


I love my daughter more than life itself and I need to get a handle on this, but I don't have anywhere to go in this town in terms of therapy. I work at a college and am really good friends with the psych professor and even he can't recommend anyone.


Thanks for listening. I just needed to get this off my chest.

[daffodil]

Welcome! If your daughter has a respiratory infection, she could be v* from the sinus drainage, or from fever, if there is one. My kids have v* from illness that were not sv. And like the others said, if you have already had the sv that is going through the family, you won't catch it again. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Stay strong, and it will be over soon.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[sage]

hi coolcat,welcome to the site. Sorry you're going through such hell right now. I remember those days too - it's terrible. I do hope you can find your way to get some help for this phobia, as it is highly treatable. If you go to the Treatments section of this website at the top is a sticky post about how to find a therapist or how to get professional help. In it, I give tips for what to do if you're in a small town. But it sounds like you're in a major centre, so I'm not sure why there wouldn't be some good therapists there...maybe you are looking for someone who understands emetophobia or who specializes in anxiety, but that's not necessary.


Anyway, read the article and hopefully it will help. There is other good info there for you, your family and your therapist to understand this particular phobia. I also have resources for therapists to use in their treatment programs.


All the best!

[threecoolcats]

Sage - thank you so much! I am going to check out the treatment section. I am in a small town with only government sponsored therapeutic centers like Community Counseling, etc. There are few licensed therapists working there. It's mostly case workers.


My bachelors is in Psychology and I hate being this way. I truly thought acknowledging theproblem after 20 years would go a long way to help treat it, but I can't do it alone. I have a doctors appointment at 4PM today to ask for anti anxiety meds (it appears I have some underlying OCD and anxiety issues) and a prescription for phenergran.


I try to talk myself down but as you said in your FAQ - there is no thought, I just panic like I"m dying.


Thanks you for this site and for the support. It is so incredibly good to know I'm not alone.


And as an update, my sweetie pie daughter was pretty puny this morning and just wanted to be held, but perked up a little later and even gave me a smile!