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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    United Kingdom
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    10

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    Hi Sage,





    Can I just say thank you for the great deal of time you've obviously taken to reply to other peoples questions.


    I've only just registered on this site but already your forum has given me alot of hope!


    I will continue to search the forums for the sort of information I am looking for but ifyou could offer any light on my question it would be much appreciated.


    Iam from the United Kingdom, I am 22 years old and a student at University and I suffer from Emet. Do you know how I would begin a treatment like some of which you have discussed.


    Have you had to pay lots of money to get where you are today? I am a student and cannot afford private treatment, we have a national health service but where do I start? Do I get a referral from my GP to a relevant psychotherapist?


    Also, Ihave only learnt in the last few monthsthat myproblem is actually a phobia and that other people have it. (And like everyone else I was very shocked!!!)


    Thank you


    JamieEdited by: banditjamie

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Vancouver, BC, Canada
    Posts
    4,577

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    Hi Jamie,


    I think the CD will not harm you at all, and it might help a bit. I agree it wont' be a wonder-cure. These phobias were started in relationship and ultimately can only be cured in relationship. But as I said, it will probably be helpful. It also depends on how severe your phobia is.


    I hope you've read the sticky posts at the top of this treatments thread. There is one called "how to find a professional" which many have found helpful. I think that the UK and Canada are two places where you can actually get some "free" help if you work hard enough at it and are willing to be patient.


    In short, yes, it cost me a lot of money to get where I am. But people pay a lot of money for cars in this world - is the way I look at it - and I got a completely healed psyche for the price of a small sub-compact! My psyche won't depreciate and one day be useless either!


    Good luck!
    For more info about emetophobia and treatment:

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    DISCLAIMER ~ Any advice I give on this forum is well-intentioned and given as to a peer or friend or for educational purposes. It does not in any way constitute psychotherapeutic or medical advice. Please discuss anything you may learn from my posts with your doctor and psychotherapist prior to making any decisions or changes or taking any actions.



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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    10

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    Thanks Sage,


    Now for the real problem! I'm sorry to ask this of you but I seriously need help on this one andI don't think anything you say can make me feel worse at the moment.


    The problemIhave is that if I have a moment of anxiety in any given scenario, say a date with a girl. I will always be anxious each time I see that person.


    I remember I once had to cancel a driving lesson because I felt sick, I subsequently booked several other appointments but cancelled those to at the last minute because I was anxious that I would feel ill again and be trapped in the car. I never went back to that driver, but felt perfectly fine with a new person.


    Giving up a driving instructor I can handle but I have now fallen into the same dreadfulposition with someone I really love and right now sheis at her housewaiting for me to tell her whats wrong.


    I've just experienced the best 3 months of my life. Despite being most uncomfortable around new people... I met a girl at university. I couldn't believe it but I could actuallyfeel sick around her without panicking(thiswas only because it was a hangoverand I knew thatit would pass, therefore no anxiety).


    For 3 months I was so caught up in this blossoming relationship that I forgot about this problem. We fell in Love, and then parted for the sumer holidays.


    Then... just as she was supposed to come to mine for the weekend (Outside of my Uni zone with which I was familiarand comfortable) I felt sick! I don't know if it was because I was anxious or actuallyhad caught something but I have been anxious and felt sick ever since.


    I told her that I did not feel well, saying that it was more like the flu.Now I feel under pressure to get better.


    What can I do, I'm afraid to tell her, we are both young and at Uni,she's the most amazing person with her whole life ahead of her, shedoesn't deserve to go through all this with me. She deserves everything and I can't give it to her,when I feel ill I sometimes think that it would be kinder to let her go, but when I'm ok the thought of losing her is to much. Everything was normalduring the three months, to her and my friends this would be an absolute shock and I'm not sure I could explain it to them without hyperventilating.


    I'm now willing to explore any therapy but what do i do about the girl who thinks i'm going to call her soon and tell her everythings alright????!!!!!!!


    Its just an impossible situation where even doing the right thing is bound to hurt somebody, I guess I've just got to be honest with her, thats all that I would want from her if the situation was reversed. I think thatif she tried to split up with me because she thought she was doing me a favour... I wouldn't accept it, I think id be fine with the phobia and just want to help, if she pushed me away I think idfeel like finding her and shaking some sense into her. But thats what people don't understand, that even though all they want to do is help, they can't! So they would just feel completely helpless.


    Edited by: banditjamie

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    23

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    I know Sage was supposed to answer this question, but for whatever my two cents is worth, banditjamie:



    1) If you are having panic attacks--and it definitely sounds like
    you are--you need to see a doctor pronto. Start with your GP or
    family doctor--he or she will almost always be able to refer you to a
    good specialist. It can be scary to ask for and get help--I was
    terrified in the beginning--but at least with proper treatment you will
    not get worse.



    2) If your girlfriend truly loves you, nothing will stop her from
    continuing to do so. Surely you've heard at least one story of a
    person who marries someone who's been diagnosed with a terminal illness
    and has a year or less to live! It certainly can't get any more
    extreme than that! If she's the right one, she'll want to be with
    you no matter what...more than that, she'll want to do anything she can
    to help you, and you need caring and supportive people around you just
    as much as you need a good therapist. So tell her what's going
    on. I doubt she'll understand--I don't think anyone can REALLY
    understand this unless they have it themselves--but if she's worth it,
    she'll be patient, sympathetic, and ask you if there's anything she can
    do for you.



    You might as well tell her, because if you don't, your lack of honesty
    about something this important might make HER decide to leave
    YOU. Guys act weird and drive women away even when they're
    healthy, you know? At least you'd be able to explain your
    behavior to her and let her know that it's your brain and not her
    that's making you act this way.



    LostAngeleno



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    10

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    Thanks Lostangeleno,


    I already feel alot better, I think I was actually ill rather than just anxious.


    I am still going to tell her as until I get treatment there is always going to be odd behaviour that she doesn't understand.


    I don't want to tell her but I love her to much to put her through anything that she doesn't understand, as long as shes happy I don't care what happens, even if it means I have to lose her!


    Thanks

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    23

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    banditjamie,



    Again I stress--IF she is the RIGHT one, she will NOT feel as though
    you are "putting her through" anything. She will go through it
    WITH you, supporting you, being the strong one for you, giving you what
    you need, and it will never cross her mind that she's being "put
    through" something. If she does feel like you're putting her
    through something--worse, if she voices that feeling--then you are most
    likely better off without her. It would be a terrible thing to
    find out, but at least you would know.



    I think that it's good that you're going to tell her. She needs
    to know about your illness, and you need to know that you can trust her
    with things like this. And whether or not you guys stick it out,
    after you tell her, you'll be emotionally free for the journey ahead.



    Keep us posted.



    LostAngeleno



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Vancouver, BC, Canada
    Posts
    4,577

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    Hi bandjamie,


    sorry - I've been away on holiday. Thanks for replying, lostangeleno - good advice!


    I think it's true that you should come clean with your girlfriend, as she might take it personally otherwise and think she's done something.


    As for the anxiety response, what you describe is quite typical. The only way around it is to force yourself to do the thing that you did once and got anxious about. If you avoid it, you will always have a fear of it. But if you just do it one more time (and you're ok and don't get sick) then your brain will register that and it will help you.


    I agree you should see a doctor and perhaps try some medication, as your anxiety appears to quite acute. But that's up to you. A good cognitive therapist will work wonders as well. Take care,
    For more info about emetophobia and treatment:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    DISCLAIMER ~ Any advice I give on this forum is well-intentioned and given as to a peer or friend or for educational purposes. It does not in any way constitute psychotherapeutic or medical advice. Please discuss anything you may learn from my posts with your doctor and psychotherapist prior to making any decisions or changes or taking any actions.



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