Flight Attendant and single mother

[christianne]

Hi there! I'm new and so very happy to know I'm not the only one out there. I've been this way (to varying degrees) for over 20 years now, and I feel like emetophobia is again running my life. I've been a flight attendant for around 3 years, and have been "ok" for most of it, but recently I'm worse than ever. There have been several horrific v*ing experiences with passengers lately (I won't go into the nasty details!) and find that I cannot handle it anymore. I worry ALL the time before, during and after each flight and find myself in a sweaty, shaky panic on my days off even thinking about going flying again. If someone does v*, I get shaky and feel sick and there's no where to run. If they need help, I cannot do it--I'll avoid them for the rest of the flight. Plus, it's a smaller jet and I'm the ONLY flight attendant onboard--guess who has to deal with any v*??? I think it's time to quit, but I really do love the job. I'm also a single mother to an amazing 9 year old boy, and I feel I'm the worst mom ever. I've actually run away from him when he's had a sv-- I've never felt worse in my life. My mother is wonderful and helps me out, but I still worry constantly that he's going to be sick. I cannot take him to movies or amusements parks or anything like that, so he ends up paying for my phobia. I truly hate myself for that.
Thanks so much for listening to me--it's an amazing feeling to know that people feel just like me.

[dreamer]

Welcome to the group!! I think you were incredibly brave to even think about becoming a flight attendant. That would be a dream job for most people, but not one I could ever consider! It would be terrible if emet forced you to leave a job you love - have you ever tried to get help?


As for your son, well, ALL the parents on here (myself included) know how you feel. Just remind yourself that in every other way you are a brilliant mum - you just happen to be scared of v*. If your son is anything like mine, he'll be just as happy to be comforted by his gran.


You'll find all the support you need here. Good luck!

[suze]

Welcome Christianne - well, I think you're bloody amazing doing the job you do, and coping with the emet. What has triggered this bad time with your emet? Is it only recently that you have witnessed passengers v* or has there been aparticularly bad experience of late? I too have been an emet for years but it was under control until around 7 years ago when I had a bad experience and it has triggered a particularly difficult stage for me, so I know how it feels.


I have a 9 year old too, and I do deal with him when he v*, but I don't live with his dad so I have no choice! I agree with Dreamer here, your son I'm sure thinks you are an amazing mum, so don't beat yourself up about the v* issue. If he's not an emet, then v* is probably just a bit of a gross inconvenience and he'll be fine with your mum. Remember, to us it's the worst thing in the world, but to a non-emet, it's not such a big deal.


Anyway, welcome to the site. It would be a shame to give your job up when you like it so much, have a look at the treatments thread on this site and find ways to help you cope - you can be cured of this!Edited by: suze

[loveable101]

welcome!! i definately have to agree with the other ladies and compliment you on your hard work and efforts to be strong for you and your son. you can get some great advice here!! hope we can help!! best of luck to ya!!

[christianne]

Thanks to all for the responses! You have no idea how happy I feel right now (or maybe you do!!) It's so comforting to know you all are out there--thanks so very much!!!
I haven't tried to get any help recently, but I was treated for anxiety disorder about 10 years ago and it seemed to help slightly, but never enough. I'm on vacation for the next two weeks which is great, but I'm already worrying about going back!! I don't think this is something I can fix in 2 weeks--wouldn't that be amazing?!?
When I first started flying it was extremely rare that anyone got sick on the flights--and if it did, for some reason I was okay with it. Well, not okay---panicky and nervous and all that, plus I'd be afraid to go near them for the rest of the flight. Imagine trying to do a beverage service and having to stand right next to someone who just v*d--not fun!! Still, I was able to somewhat handle it.
Then about 4 months ago I was working a flight--about a 4 hour flight--and it was HORRIBLE! One of the passengers got sooo sick! I can even remember what he looked like, what he was wearing, where he was sitting. He was sitting right in front of the galley--where the flight attendants sit and stand. He v*d at least 6 seperate times for the last 2 hours of the flight--I had to see it, hear it, smell it, everything. It was the longest flight of my life!! If it was possible I swear I would've jumped off that plane! I know he wasn't airsick, either. It never happens like that, not that much v*ing anyways. So not only was I freaking out because he was sick, but I worried for the rest of the trip if I was going to catch whatever nasty thing he exposed me too. I barely ate for a week--I was always revisiting that horrible moment in my mind. It still makes me panic and feel n*!!
Even though I've always had this fear I think that's what made it so much worse. Ever since then I'm always thinking about that man when I'm working and even when I'm not. If anyone even looks like they might v* I go into a frenzy--once when I saw a guy pull a airsick bag out I hid in the back of the plane. And he just accidently pulled it out when reaching for the magazine!!!! How childish am I??? And during turbulence--forget it! I'm a total wreck! If I know the weather's bad and it's windy or stormy I sit in my seat and study everyone's faces to see who might get ill. I feel like such an idiot!
Again, thanks for listening. I've never really told anyone about this or anything, so it's really a great relief to be able to share this with you all. Especially since you all can relate!

[princessmel]

Hi Christi:


Welcome to the site!!! It's a great site and there are so many nice people on here who can answer any questions you have or talk about any problems you have. Wow. I flight attendant huh? Sounds like an interesting job that you love. I know the phobia part of sucks, but that's great that you do that. Have you thought about therapy at all to help you?? I'd hate to see you quit something you love do just b/c of this phobia, you know? It must be hard though. I don't think we ever had a flight attendant on here. I think it's cool. I'm not a fan of flying. Not b/c of vomiting just b/c i'm a nervous flyer. I'm not real keen on it. Don't quit your job girl. Try to work through it. We're here for you. Oh. What airline do you work for?? Just curious Talk to you soon.


Mel

[Melikasa]

WELCOME


It is a pleasure to meet you. I have a son as well and to you and all parents I have to congradulate you for going ahead and having a child (Emet kept me from wanting one in fear of morning sickness)
AND a huge pat on the back for being a flight attendant and sticking to it. The fighting through it is the hard part but sticking to what you love doing and not letting emet ruin it for you is a big step towards conquering emet I believe.
Emet has stopped me from doing all the jobs I wanted to do (police, ambulance, nurse) BUT once I stopped letting it control me I did become a pharmacy technician and I am married with a 3 year old.
I am by no means cured but I can leave the house now, go to restraunts and eat. It takes baby steps for sure but keep at it.
You arenot a failure or a bad mother for not being able to cope with it. You are wonderful in so many other ways and when it REALLY matters.


once again you are awsome.


Mel