Rock bottom.....?

[uglyducklin]

I have to get this off my chest before I do something really stupid...


I wonder how many times this week i think ihave hit rock bottom only to find that things can sink even further? I am struggling big time, not only is my emet at an all time high but my depression and anxiety has rocketed. My lovely counsellor has gone on holiday for two weeks and i have no one to turn to. I cant get hold of my psychiatrist and im desperate. I feel like i wanna die just to get some relief from this pain. I want to hurt myself so much, cos i deserve it dont i. I should be able to get on with my life, thats what my family say. Im struggling to look after two small children and all my family can say is, you had them so you get on with it. My husband is brilliant but hes not always around, not as much as i would like.... I really dont know what to do anymore

[marieb73]

First of all, know that you are not alone. There are several people on this forum battling anxiety and depression as well as emetophobia. Yes, emetophobia can take over your life and yes, it is tough to wrestle with. But even acknowledging it is helpful and good. It's a first step on a truthfully long journey.

I am very sorry to hear that you are hurting so badly, but you must never give up! Continue to fight. You will find many helpful people on this ofrum and many helpful links.

So, welcome to the forum!

[momof2]

Hang in there.


I have 2 small children also and feel like I cannot even take care of myself, let alone them. This is an awful life to live. I agree with that. I have had the same thoughts as you recently but thankfully do not and will not ever have the courage to do anything irrational.


My parents, children, husband, and in-laws took me out to dinner yesterday for my birthday. I had such a panic attack due to emet that I actually had to leave my own dinner. My kids were crying because they got a suprise cake and I felt supid.


One year ago, literally, I thought my life could not get any worse. Yet here I am. That term rock bottom is sort of misleading, I think. My bottom keeps lowering...there really seems to be no ending point or bottom!


If you are feeling like you may endanger yourself...get to an ER! For now, live in hell, but at least live for your children! You can...we can get better. At some point, if we keep trying, we can potentially have a pleasant life. Unfortunately, I have no clue how or what will work, but there are so many people who have been helped. It can be done.


These are simply my opinions, but I really feel like I have been exactly where you are right now. I had a horrific period for 2 weeks unlike any other 3 weeks ago. You can PM me if you are interested in the details. I thought it wouldn't pass, but it did lessen.


You are not alone. Too bad we don't have a magic wand!