Nervous Traveler

[samara's on tv]

Okay here's the deal guys, my friend REALLY wants me to come visit her. But I have two problems, one of which being my emet. Going somewhere out of my usual 50 mile radius is VERY hard for me. I mean she lives all the way in New Jersey (I'm in Ohio) and yes I have been there before but back then my emet wasn't NEARLY as bad as it is now. I don't eat at places I've never eaten before, I don't eat food that is cooked for me by anyone other then my mom, dad, or one very close family friend. She said that mostly likely I'll be preparing my own food, which I have no problem with, but I'm not familiar with the stores there and frankly I judge what food I buy at the store by how clean the store looks. If it's like a ghetto ass store then I don't get food from there, you know?


Also she wants me to go to 6 Flags with her, which I REALLY don't want to do because I don't want to get on any rollercoasters but she's really pushing the issue. Last time I rode arollercoaster I almost vomited and I don't want tofeel sick around her cause well when I feel nauseous I have to be by myself and that's really hard to do when youare at an amusement park.


Then there is the fact that on EVERY trip I've EVER been on EVER I've gotten sick. Not vomiting sick but in every trip I have gotten nauseated to the POINT of THINKING that I will throw up. That brings us back to the issue of me wanting to be alone when I'm sick and if I'm staying with her then that won't be possible at all.


Okay all of that there, that's my first problem. LoL. The second thing is this, and it's going to sound selfish but let me try to explain. I'm getting 300 dollars in one huge lump sum. What I actually want to do with that money is (Instead of going on a trip) Buy a playstation2, a buttload of games, and a new TV. I know you people are going to be like, "Why would you give up a chance to be with a friend to get that?" but honestly I've visited her once before and it's one of those memories that I try to block out. It was NOT fun, we fought almost the whole time! She says that we both have changed (It's been like 4 years) but I don't know. I'm really apprehensive about all of this and I don't know what to do.


If I cancel the trip she'll be really sad...and that will make me sad. But if I go I'm putting myself in a very high stress situation. Bad for my emet and all the other problems I already have. So what should I do?


~Monica


PS: Her and her girlfriend just broke up but they are still living together, and I really don't want to be in the middle of that either. She says it'll be fine but I really don't need to walk into a high stress situation where my stress is already high. Any advice is appreciated. Edited by: samara's on tv

[Melikasa]

Does she know and understand your emet? That will help in explaining to her. MAYBE she can come to see you. The trip would be a wonderful step to take of course the dwelling on the getting sick almost always leads to the anxiety that causes nausea as well. Maybe if she can come up with a different place to go other than 6flags. Beach trips (or lake) are always fun, a water park.
The arguments and relationship you had 4 years ago may not be at all what its like now I mean you've both grown since then.
I can totally understand that whole comfy home radius. I am like that too unless I have prepared myself. I am better now if my husband pops a spur of a moment lets go out but he understands if I say no.
The game thing sounds fun but on the other hand it won't help your emet. You can come dependant in a way. I got a cool computer game and it became an excuse to not go out.
Wish I had some useful information for you other than the ideas above.

[shiva]

The one thing that I do know is thatif you go into any given situation with a negative idea of how the outcome will be, it will more than likely be negative.


Sometimes in life you have to learn to let go of all of these control issues and fly by the seat of your pants and challenge your growth as a human being. Otherwise, what's the sense in your existence?

[crimgoddess]

The previous times you travelled and felt ill it was more than likely anxiety that made you feel that way. The more you resist the idea of travelling, the more anxious you will get when you inevitably do so. You say you want to live in Japan at some point- well, think of a trip to Jersey as a stepping stone to reaching that goal.


As for food- don't worry about it. Jersey is suburbia-ville, there are plenty of chain, well-lit grocery stores for you to choose from. It's not like you're going to have to shop in the basement of a dirty house in little Italy or something.


The amusement park issue- I have been to six flags a few times, and get very bad motionsickness. Roller coasters are pretty much the only rides I can do, because they get my adrenaline to the point where my body is too occupied to feel sick. And this is from someone who has gotten sick on the ferris wheel and merry go round. If you stay away from the coasters that have a lot of repeated loops, you should be fine. You can always take a ginger pill or a Bonamine (motion sickness pill that doesn't cause drowsiness in most people) if you are worried.


It sounds to me like you are trying to make every possible excuse NOT to go on this trip, which I don't think would be helpful at all, because, as Shiva said, it plants the seed of negativity, and convinces you that you will have a horrible time even before you leave. Be more optimistic than that. If you cancel this trip, it gives the justification for cancelling other trips down the line, and will inevitably make it harder to leave home.


Even if you do end up fighting with your friend or whatever- at least you can say that you went and you tried. Do you really want to be stuck in Ohio forever?


*amber*

[samara's on tv]

Okay here's the deal, I'm going because now I HAVE to go cause through probably illegal means my friend got me a PS2 for free (You know it fell off the truck LoL) but as the day approaches I actually find myself more and more excited to go. Sure the bus trip will be long and pointless and I won't get any sleep but what the hell? I mean I'll be so jazzed about seeing her again it probably won't matter! She's my best friend in the whole world (Besides my sister) And I don't see her as often as I should. She's the only one who hates Tea Leoni as much or possibly more then I do...LoL. When we get mad at each other we call each other, "Tea" LoL. Yeah I know we're weird. Thanks for the advice guys! I am definitely going, my dad will order the tickets tomorrow.


~Monica

[mjewell]

Monica -


Good for you, you will be so glad you went. It sounds like this girl is a VERY good friend. if that's the case, maybe you could tell her about your phobia? If she is as wonderful as she sounds, you may be delightfully surprised at her reaction. She will probably be very supportive. I told my best friend about my emet in college and it was the best thing I could have done. She helped me get through some of my most panicky times (including my wedding) because she knew how to comfort me and what to do when I panic.


I have been challenging myself all year with trips and last minute goings out and all kinds of social things I would have turned down just a year ago. And you know what? The only times I've felt sick at all in the last 6 months or so were the times I've been at home.


Anyway, sorry to go on and on. Have fun and enjoy yourself. Best friends are hard to come by.

[samara's on tv]

I told her about my Emet and although she thinks I'm weird she's willing to do anything she can to take care of me. She asked me for a list of foods that I'd be willing to eat while I'm there (PB&J) LoL. I probably won't eat much while I'm there. She promised me that if I go on a coaster just one and I feel sick afterward she won't bug me to go on anymore. She's trying, god bless her, but she took it really well. she thinks I'm weird anyway so this is just another thing in that weirdness factor.


~Monica

[SimplyMe]

Hey I'm getting ready to post a travel post too lol yours actually makes me feel a little better! Anyhow I'm proud of you for going and HAVE FUN! I think that's something most of us need to engrave in our brains ... HAVE FUN!

[daffodil]

Glad you're going. It's good to challenge yourself, and get out of your comfort zone, though it's hard. I hope you have a great time!![img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]