The day before yesterday, after quite a turbulent relationship my
boyfriend of about 5 years broke it off with me. Last night i hoped he
would have changed his mind because i have lost count of the amount of
times we have 'broke up.' But when i spoke to him however he seemed
very adament that we would never get back together. It was about 9pm
and i just rushed downstairs and cried hysterically to my dad who is
always very comforting at moments like this. I then got a massive
headache, the worst one i've ever had which i put down to lack of fluids
throughout the day. I took a paracetomal and tried to calm myself down
but it was still aching like hell. I had a rich tea biscuit and some orange
juice because the idea of too much food made me feel awful (i had only
eaten two bread rolls in the day.) I then started to feel sick so i took an
anti nausea tablet putting it down to anxiety. After about 20 minutes
however i stopped feeling sich but started feeling like i needed to wretch.
So my dad and i went up to the bathroom and i sat on the side of the bath
and tried to calm down. I think because i was in so much emotional
torment, this felt like nothing in comparison. After i felt ok i went into my
bedroom and pretty much straight away thought i was going to be sick so
my dad got a bucket and sure enough after w* a few times i v* mainly
bisquit, liquid and stomach acid. We went into the bathroom again cause
the idea of a bucket makes me feel worse. I wretched about 4 more times
and for some reason swallowed what was in my mouth! yuck! After that i
sat still for about 20 minutes and my dad suggested i lay flat on my bed
to calm down and settle my stomach. Lucky enough this worked and i
started to feel okay. But i just found it interesting how i havent needed to
v* in God knows how many years (im 20.) I've managed to not catch
stomach bugs, not get drunk or get food poisining and it takes
something like this to make it happen! In a way i'm glad it did because
although it wasnt a nice experience it was something i was able to control
by calming myself down and i was able to experience v* in a safe
environment. Safe to say i will still suffer from anxiety and hate the idea
of v* but it really wasn't as traumatic as i thought it would be.
Wow, that was a long post, just thought i would share it with you guys
and i apologise for any spelling errors!
Fiona x