Oh the things that go through our heads!!

[zipity]

So here are a few things that I've thought about in the past few days. I didn't full-on panic from them, but they crossed my mind.
I was driving on a highway and a garbage truck merged in front of me. It was a weird truck. Not the kind that have the "crusher" thing in the back. This was just square. It had a door in the back and the door was open. There was nothing in it short of a few stray plastic bags floating around. But honest to God, the thought actually crossed my mind "euw a garbage truck. I can only imagine the things that have been in there. Oh my God, v* has been in there, I'm SURE. Oh my God! What if that's why they have the truck open? To air it out because it smelled like v*. Wait, it's a GARBAGE TRUCK. It doesn't matter what it smells like. But what if the v* particles are flying out of the truck and into my radiator and into my AC?" Then I realized how silly I was and forgot about it. lol

Then we were eating at a restaurant over the weekend. The table next to us had 3 boys and 1 girl, along with the parents. I was watching them because they got some really cool blue drinks and I was wondering what they were. Then they got their food. The waitress brought all the meals except one so I figured she just couldn't carry them all. Then a few minutes later I realized the youngest boy didn't have any food in front of him. "Oh my God, he must be s*. That's why he's not eating. He doesn't look s*. He's happy and smiling. But why else wouldn't he be hungry? He's got to be s*. What if he v* in the restaurant right next to me and I catch whatever he has?"
Ughhh I hate thinking like that, but that's an emet for ya! He was fine BTW. I never did figure out why he didn't have any food.

[NatalyKay]

Oh man, if you spent one day reading my mind you'd be going insane!!

Everyday, I FORCE myself to think about being sick otherwise I feel like if I don't think about it then I can't control it and I WILL get sick! Ah! And when I actually DON'T think about it, then I make myself panic about it and think back to how I was feeling, how I was thinking when I saw certain things, how I reacted when I saw food and a whole bunch of other stuff. I have now even convinced myself that I'm going to get sick as karma for liking another guy when I'm in a relationship.

Yeah. It's not fun being me!! But I totally know what you mean about how we think, it's just crazy!

[zipity]

I totally get the Karma thing. If I do something that's the slightest bit "wrong" or "bad" like if I tell my husband I spent $25 when I really spent $35 shopping. Something silly. I'll fess up because I'm afraid because I lied that I'll be "punished" and catch something and v*. Or if I make fun of someone behind their back. (which I really don't do that much I swear, just using it as an example lol)

[olschesky]

i'm a member of that club also.....although prozac has cut all that weird speculating down quite a bit....thank god~

[freedomfighter]

i worry if i get up in the morning feeling fine ....because then something definitely must be wrong!

[stefanie]

Sounds like a day in the life of my mind. Working retail for me has proven to be a bad things at times. I'm always thinking...omg I touch like 50 debit/credit cards daily plus all the products that I touch and others have touched and put back etc...

I have had the thoughts of omg if the sv* is going around because i work retail then I have a bigger chance to get it and therefore I'm going ot get it for sure and I panic.

The other day when I was coming home on the train (3hour ride) I noticed that that guy who sat in front of me was sweating really bad and kept getting up to go to the bathroom He looked like a business man and could have just been he was really over tired and maybe having a bit of the runs totally non sv* related BUT

I kept thinking OMG he has the sv* and he's sitting in front of me and I was so worried he might suddenly v* or I'd catch it ya didn't happen and woudln't happen! But that's us emets we automatically go to the worse case senerio and no mater what we always think that someone has the sv* or are going to v* if they seem off ....

[Fear Is Not An Option]

I am the President of this club! lol

I have thoughts like this all the time. Just yesterday I was walking down the street and someone was closing the big lid of their garbage can as I walked by. My immediate thought was, "The force of closing that big lid caused a gust of wind, which of course (in my emetophobic mind) means all kinds of projectile-vomiting producing particles are flying in the air, right up my nose and in my mouth!" Crazy thoughts!

[zipity]

Stefanie I worked in retail 15 years and I never caught a sv during that time. Just make sure to wash your hands on your breaks and maybe keep some antibacterial gel in your pocket.
(of course the emet in me is thinking that because I said "I never caught a sv" that I totally just jinxed myself and now I'm going to get s*! ahhhh!)

[NatalyKay]

Stefanie I worked in retail 15 years and I never caught a sv during that time. Just make sure to wash your hands on your breaks and maybe keep some antibacterial gel in your pocket.
(of course the emet in me is thinking that because I said "I never caught a sv" that I totally just jinxed myself and now I'm going to get s*! ahhhh!)

Ahhhh you're exactly like me!! I'm too superstitious for my own good! I don't think logically, I think spiritually. I believe in karma way too much, I believe that fate has a specific time period for when I do and don't v*, I'm just too superstitious!

[person54321]

Oh yes, us emets will definitely spin things out of control. For instance, the girl across in the apartment next to mine usually leaves at 8:30 AM for work in her car, which she did. However, today her car was back in the lot by 2 PM rather than the usual 4:30 or 5 PM and I was convinced it was because she had a stomach flu and needed to come home early.

[BensMom]

I can't say how much this all sounds like me....I have thought all of these things at least a time or two! I too think that talking about sv will jinx me! I wonder what non emets would think if they spent one day in our brains!

[tattooedgirly]

I have found my homeland! ALL of you are exactly like me. It is such a reassuring feeling that I am not alone with all the crazy things I think. I have had the Karma thoughts, the "why is so and so home already? They must be sick! Gah!" and the incredibly strange, probably impossible garbage can air being forced in my nose thoughts. I am so glad I found this wonderful place!

[bakogirl]

This is just the thing I needed to read at this moment. I have been thinking about this all day. The crazy things that go through my mind and then my crazy rituals to try and get me out of panic zone. My whole week has been playing in my head because everywhere I turn I hear about someone v* or is sick with it. That time of year and it sucks. Sometimes I wish I could home school my kids :-/

[jennnh]

i know the feeling!
every little thing that has to even barely do with v* makes me second guess it!

like when im typing fast and i type vom rather than com for a website!!!!! im like omg its a sign!

parking lot stains on the assphalt.. is ALWAYS vomit to me.

never ending but so glad im not alone

[zipity]

OMG I just saw the responses to this post and I had to respond because there are 13 responses and I'm superstitious. lol 14 now phewww

[orton99]

Oh yes, I could have written most of the replies so far by myself...!

I'm currently going through the worst manifestation of this phobia I've ever had (I have previously gone years with scarcely thinking about it but it has just gone haywire since not long after my Dad died, which is unfortunately what I do. Get unhappy and stressed about things in general and take it out on myself in the form of worries/obsessions about various aspects of my health, of which this phobia is the worst) and am driving myself mad with all these "possibilities" I seem to invent daily.

For example, I passed a woman on the stairs at work last week heading for another floor, holding a cloth and a spray bottle of Dettol....omg, so she was cleaning up vomit and maybe it was the person next to her in her office so maybe a bit sprayed on her and it's now wafting in the air and I've just breathed it in by walking past her... Okay, so I calmed down a little later on when I wondered where, if she really was going to clean up someone else's mess, the bucket of soapy water was and reasoned that she could have been cleaning almost anything else up, but I can certainly relate to the unreasoning chain of logic.

I think this sort of thing is all about control. Someone walking around out there with a bug is a "threat" so if you just take enough precautions you can nullify the threat...trouble is, the practicalities of doing so are pretty insane, miserable and exhausting. One of the things that I think unwittingly fed my phobia in childhood is that I was very particular about going on long car journeys, in terms of always taking a travel sickness tablet a certain time before the journey, always eating very plain food (ie no milky bowl of cereal or margarine on my toast) and ensuring that the last meal was a certain time (I think an hour) before getting in the car. I would frequently check with Mum that I'd be okay if I ate my dry toast an hour before etc and she would of course reassure me, but with hindsight this possibly created the problem, in that it set up "rules" in my mind and if you follow "the rules" you won't be sick, guaranteed. (And after one travel sickness incident at about the age of four I never was again, so it must have "worked").

Mum wasn't to know that I'd take her advice so ultra-literally, but it's possibly contributed to this mindset in adulthood where being sick is something you can permenantly avoid, as long as you follow enough "rules" or precautions etc. Bad enough, but to make it worse how do you even begin to deal with being sick if it does happen, as you've convinced yourself that your rules will always protect you, hence get so fearful when you feel ill and realise that your security blanket rules and procedures aren't working...