trying to understand my phobia.

[calili]

Probably this isn't interesting at all and I am sorry for sharing.

Sometimes I think my fear is feeling extreme nausea, more than the v* itself, because most of the times v* saves us of being sick (but I am not sure, since it was a long time ago it happened for the last time..) .
Other times, even the word v* scares me.
But the worst part and I think we all agree is the fact we can't control it! like..if I felt sick and v* and felt good again, it wouldn't be that bad..but most of the times we woke up feeling extremly weak and n* and then we have some d* and THEN after some painful hours we finnally do it! :|other times I listen to people saying ''GOSH, I v* for 4 days!'', which means, it doesnt happen once or twice but lots of times!
I know it is not like those all the times.
Well..I think this phobia started because I rarely v*.The times I did it, I felt really bad, for many hours, because my body only throws up as a last resource, so I suffer from nausea for too long and (I'm sorry for the words) I used to have some dried vomits instead of actual v*...and when i think about it and how scary it is I freak out....

Sometimes I just wish I was like my bf. When he feels extremly sick and n* , he uses the fingers tecnique, after awhile he's feeling new and calm.
SO...My fears are: not being able to control the v* and knowing it can happen more than once or twice (and for more than one day).
other thing is to know, if I felt n* or caught s stomach bug, I would take too long to actually do it! which makes it looks like HELL to me.


I have no idea if my english is understandable. I am sorry. I am from Portugal.

[Lady Gag Gag]

Hi calili,

As I read your post I thought wow, I could have written that word for word because that's exactly how I feel, your fears are my fears. The unpredictability of it all is what scares me most, like when will it happen, where, who will be there to see it, how bad will it be, how many times will it happen, for how many days...... it's enough to make a person crazy.

I think what I'm really afraid of is myself, losing control of my own body. I'm more than a bit of a control freak and things have to be perfect otherwise I can't function. Well, if I vomit, my body is out of my control and things are NOT perfect. When I say "perfect" I mean it has to FEEL perfect to me.

By the way, your english is very good!

[JessSchraad]

I feel the same way! Its hard and scary to think about. Thats exactly my fear. I hate the feeling of being Nauseous. And it scares me and I freak out cause I always think when is it going to happen how will it feel and how many times. Thats the most scary part. If it only happened once, I think I could except it more... But I have heard of it lasting for days. Like my fiance was sick with a stomach bug for a week this last winter! I was so scared... But I definitely know how you feel and how you think. And your english is very very good.

[calili]

thank you both

Yeah the feeling of losing the control of our body is the worst part. The feeling of n* makes people don't find ANY confort position..like if you move you're gonna feel it even worse...
Ahah, the irony about this fact (fear of losing control of ourselves) is that we usually are control freaks, but then, when we need to control our emotions we fail and start panicking! if we use our control energy from other things to gain some strengh in our emotions maybe we would get better! BUT how to...?!
I'm studying Psychology..ACTUALLY I'm studying phobias in this exact moment..and I haven't read a word about emetophobia..maybe if I got better with therapy my master's thesis should be about this.. We really need to understand ourselves and get to know ourselves better to get rid of this THING called emetophobia.

When I was little I used to fall asleep thinking doctors would find a surgery that would make people not need the v* reflex anymore..sometimes I still dream about that day :|

[bixzy]

I'm almost certain that's why I'm emet too. I v* in 2009 and it only happened once for maybe 20 seconds, went back in and JOKED about it with my mom. I felt so much better. But I remember being n* the entire night before from 9PM until 5AM. I think it's because I almost forced myself not to be sick because I had the dry heaves a few times and freaked out. Then I finally fell asleep and BAM, 30 minutes later.

Actually, I can't think of a time in my life that I had v* more then once while being sick.. Isn't that crazy?

I'm pretty sure that if I was just nauseous for five minutes, didn't get the dry heaves, and just v* - I wouldn't be emetophobic at all.

It's crazy what different levels of emetophobia there are.