I'm new to this site. I have read some things and commented on some... I feel helpless like the rest of us. I'm 20 years old and I have had this .... phobia... for as long as i can remember.. my mom said i have had it my whole life... i remember as a child i would cry thinking the hiccups would make me v*... i know that people think im a "complainer" and everything, but noone seems to understand. my boyfriend understands as much as he can. he stays up with me if i feel sick and he talks to me about it, but he doesnt feel it... we have gotten into fights about it... especially since his niece has been sick last week and i had to leave.. it controls my life.. i left home for a week cause my brother was sick... if anyones sick i will not go around them or where they have been until the place is lysoled... cleaned.... and it has been atleast 3 days... it sucks... i cant go out and eat without thinking that maybe the food is expired.... my boyfriend tries my food at our local mexican restaurant before i even eat it.... and the other night when we went there... our waiter brought us our food and walked fast to the back where the bathrooms were... and i freaked. my boyfriend was generous enough to get up and see if the guy went to the bathroom to v*... cause otherwise.. i wouldnt have eaten... luckily the guy was just outside smoking. i started taking vitamin c... but i feel like im missing out on life.... i constantly question food... i constantly check the expiration date... milk... i will not drink if it has been 3 days since i bought it... :/... its hard to live with this.... everyone thinks its just like every other phobia.. and yes... it is a little bit... but.... with clowns or escalators or anything like that.. you can stay away from those forever..... emetophobia... you cant... sickness seems to be everywhere i turn around.... i constantly look up peoples symptoms and if you mention the stomach bug or flu.... i go crazy and i ask where you live and crap... its like i have to make sure my body knows that its not near me and that im ok... but... i feel bad too... like ... selfish... :/ im not selfish.. but i dont want to be sick i hope one day... i will beat this.... just waiting on the money to go to meetings and to get help with it....