Ok soo.. I have to admit i am nervous..


Tomorrow I am going to a wedding about 3 hours north of where i live. Which would be ok since.. i grew up in this town. What I fear though is thought of being so far away from home. I used to go up there alot on weekends to go out with freinds.. and with one night we tried to go out dancing but i started to feel really really n* and i remember feeling soo vulnerable because i dont like to be around people when i feel like that.. i dont wanna talk.. i dont wanna be touched.. i just wanna be left alone where I am comfortable until my medication kicks in (whatever that may be.. tums, rolaids, anti n*, xanex) anyways my freinds were with me and they didnt understand.. and its not like i can JUST DRIVE home to be alone and comfortable.. cuz its friggin nearly 3 hrs away. So ever since this happened to me. I get nervous to be far away from my house. I do have meds to take with me.. but sometimes i need the comfort of my room with me aswell.. does this make any sense? or am i just crazy??? cuz i feel like it..


If i dont go to this wedding.. omg.. i wont hear the end of it and i need to so it just sucks that everytime i leave the city or my house for long periods of time.. i think of this.. always.. i am afriad of what MIGHT happen and the what ifs..


I hate being like this.. i really do. and another thing at this wedding there is going to be alot of seafood and buffet style dinner and im scared of eating buffet meats or seafoods..


Help me.. what do i do???.. i dont know what to do..


Kristin