I'm 22 weeks pregnant and have been off sickall through my pregnancy so far as I haven't been able to cope with the constant n* (I haven't v* yet thank God!) . I have got to go back to workfor about 6 or 7 weeks before I can start my maternity leave at 29 weeks, because we are desperate for money (finding it impossible to live on just my partner's wage). I can't take my maternity leave earlier than 29 weeks pregnant and its another 7 weeks away!!!


ButI can't manage it! I went in for a just a few hours on Thursday just to retrain and try to get used to everything again and the only way I could do it was for my partner to come with me and wait outside in the car so I knew that if I felt ill he would be there to take me home. Yesterday I went in on my own and was only there for an hour and a half, I just felt s* all the time and had a couple of scary moments when I thoughtI was going to be s* or faint. I must have looked so pale and shaky that my boss sent me home.


The awful thing is, when I got home I felt fine. So it must have been nerves. I'm due in again tommorrow and I really don't think I can do it. No-one understands. Everyone keeps saying that pregnancy is not an illness and I shouldn't have been off all this time and there's no reason I shouldn't go in and work for the next 7 weeks or so. But it seems impossible., I know I'm going to feel s* and panicky again tommorrow. I'm too scared to eat before I go in in case it makes me feel more s*. No one understands and everyone is making me feel really guilty and like I'm responsible for the financial problems we are now having because I have not been working. I just don't know what to do. I'm really really scared. I always geuessed I would find pregnancy hard because of my phobia but I had no idea it would mess our life up so badly!!!