I am so annoyed that this is ruining my life. This past summer, I have found myself avoiding situations altogether. Before I knew it, I had not left my house at all for 8 days, not even to run to the grocery store.


My children seem to be accepting that I never go anywhere...they actually just left to go to a fair with my husband and the grandparents, but here I sit. And it is not even like I feel better when I am not with them, because I am sad and still feel like crap, and wish I was creating another experience with them. I know that challenging myself and facing the fear is the only way to get better, but I am just not strong enough.


I feel like they are going to look back years from now and think, " Remember when daddy did this and that." They will have no memories with me. Except maybe me laying down feeling ill.


I have to go back to work next week and am so sad about it. I love teaching but I really had a horrible summer. I thought I would be okay and I wasn't. I missed out on so much with my family.


Sorry for the rambling...