Hi,


I haven't posted on here in a long time... maybe a year? I try to stay away, no offense to anyone, but the less I hear about vomiting, the less I think about my emet, and the better I feel. However, I still have emet, and I still freak out from time to time and need some support. Such as right now.


I got back early yesterday morning from Christmas at my sisters in Winnipeg (Canada). I live in Calgary. Anyway, on Christmas Day my stomach started to feel really nauseous but I kind of felt like it was hunger - you know that really empty, almost cold feeling you get when you are starving? Thats sort of how it felt. So I tried eating dinner that day- not a whole lot of luck. I choked it down and the feeling in my stomach did NOT subside. I started panicking but I also remembered that I was due to start my period. Which I did, the next morning. However, I felt sick all boxing day and had "near" diarrhea for the next two days. Today I woke up and felt better so I ate my breakfast and not 20 minutes later I was sitting on the toilet with full fledged diarrhea. I haven't had that in years. I cant' tell if I'm nauseated because I'm scared, or because I have the flu.


I had stomach cramps and pains for three days - today its not so bad, its more my guts bubbling. I know this is gross but I get so scared that I'm going to vomit while I have diarrhea that I don't let it all come out. I stop it midway and build up the nerve to go back a little while later. So I feel awful. And terrified and lonely. I live in Calgary by myself, my boyfriend is still in Mexico for his Christmas vacation, and I'm all alone. I have never felt so lonely and depressed and afraid in all my life. I just keep sitting here crying my heart out, wondering why I'm still sick and why its getting worse instead of better. The other day it was just loose. Today, when I thought I was feeling better, its gotten worse. I am a complete wreck. I honestly just want to hop in my car and drive back to New Brunswick (on the other side of the country), where I'm from and have my Mom take care of me. I'm so sad.


If anyone reads this can you please write back ASAP. I need some support. And just some interaction. I'm so scared.


Thanks,


Lisa