Hello...
to you all know...
This end of 2006 was very difficult and I will tell you why:


I'm finally able to have a trip... I was going to the beach with my partner!
I was so happy, I wasn't afraid. Of couse a little aphreensive, but was ok.
I was going to spent some days in a friends of my friends house. It makes me nervous, but I said: "I'm fine!!"
Well, in the morning everybody decides to go to the beach, was a sunny day. Lots of children in the house, what mades me VERY nervous, you all know children, right??
In the beach, my partner and her brother decided to eat sea food. I tried to say "stay out!! be carefull" but she won't listen to me.
Close to midnight, she started to feel very sick, just after dinner.
She came to me and said: "Tonight I'll v* for sure".


Can you people imagine this??
I'll have to have this in a house and in a city that I never saw before?

And she did.
Away from me, but she did. She v* a lot.


I got nervous, but she was feeling so much better that I decided to remember all words from my therapist and try to control myself... After this, we all went to sleep. In the middle of the night I listened some voices and I looked for her and she said to me: "I can't stop to v*".
My hands start to sweat.
But I was still controled.

One minute after this, her mom just get in at the bedroom and said "Your brother cleaned the floor with v*" - God.......... I jump out of the bed!!!
And, to complete, her sister said: "this is a virus, for sure!"

It was to much for me.
I was already completely terrified.
I start shake and ask for help, begin to somebody take me alway from that house, but nobody did.

And... my partner... she cound't understand me at all.
She said: "oh my god, what I did to deserv this!!! I can't pay attention on you now!!! I am needing your help, so don't ask me for help!!"
I need to confess that this makes me very sad, because I just realise that she really will never understan me... and I am so tired to explain................

The unique exit I had was get the key of 'her' car (I felt like I was on an Island, because I was just by myself on that place) and stay there since this nightmare ends.
I was very afraid because I thought I got a viruses too!!!

Besides this, her little brother was also v*, remember? So, everybody was concerning about them and I was locked at that car.
So, somebody came to talk to me... My dear daughter! The unique person of this world that can really help me and understand me (that is not emetophobic.... because txs God I have you all my friends and also my DEAR friend SAGE that everyday makes me believe that I'll be cured some day...!) She holds my hands and made me calm down a lot... Also my partner's mom and sis tryed to help been very patient, but thay were a lot of more worried about my partner and her brother... they was feeling real bad.


After hours of wait, without getting off of that car once, my partner came to say: "Hey, everybody is asking why you are not inside....don't you come for a breakfast???" And then I thought "is she kidding me???... God!" and almost crying I said "Please, can we get home... please", and with a bad face, she said: "In a little".

Her brother stopped v* and went to sleep and we got home.
When we was almost leaving she said to me: [i]"Are you sure you want to drive me home?? Won't you leave me in the middle of the road? When we arrive, will you give me help if I need??.... hmm, I think is better to me to stay with my parent