So, I haven't v* in a long time. About 8 years now. The thing is, every time I have, I never knew it was coming. I mean, I felt n* (and I am very familiar with THAT feeling), but once the v* actually came up, I never knew when it was coming and would just v* all over the place.

Now when I'm feeling particularly bad, my main panic is "How do I know when it's going to happen?" I'll spend some hours in the bathroom trying to convince myself it's OK and to just let it out, but I'm scared of that moment coming. I'm also too scared to stay in bed or somewhere that isn't the bathroom out of fear of making a mess if I do v*.

My question is, what does it feel like when you v*? How do you know it's time to get up and run to the toilet? Is there anyway to know? Are there any special signs?

Thanks.