I realized the other day that, after learning more about emetophobia (and specifically, OTHER emetophobics), I have gained a sense of rather satisfying confidence.

Confidence in what? Well, this would sound daffy on any other website (and actually, just using the word "daffy" is rather ridiculous, no matter what website you're on)... but confidence in my ability to NOT v*.

It started with seeing somewhere (I think gumdropper posted it) that Pepto Bismal is actually strong enough to counteract a small dose of ipecac. And I thought, "Damn... between my extreme self control (hah) and my ability to buy lots and lots and lots of Pepto Bismal, I don't think I'll ever have to t*u* again."

Last night, I was extremely miserable. I'm not sure if it was the trip to Burger King (for the first time in over a month) or the experiment with pancake mix and the mixrowave, OR the tummy bug that's being handed around at work that did it, but I had horrible lower abdomen cramping, d* and waaaaves of n*. But I didn't freak out, I didn't even really worry-- I didn't LIKE the feeling, naturally, but I didn't get too wound up about it.

I took a moderate serving of Pepto, curled myself around a pillow to help the pain, and just tried to go to sleep while fighting the n*. I only lost maybe an hour and a half of sleep, as opposed to the usual five or six!

So yeah. Feels kinda good.
If I could find a way to banish n* for good, it would feel even better... but for now I'll just be grateful for the confidence.[img]smileys/smilies_14.gif[/img]