I started at IES about 7-8 years ago. It was unbelievable to find so many others who had the same fear that I did, and it provided me with the support to push forward in my search for my cure.

For those of you who remember me, I have made a lot of progress in emetophobia since then, but also have had a lot of heartache - although strangely enough, that also helped with my anxiety and phobia. I stopped visiting this site because I found myself obsessing over other posts, and focusing on v* 95% of the time.

Anyway, with therapy and the support of my sisters and friends, I got to the point where animal and most baby v* no longer scares me, I can travel long distances (I flew to Austria last year! Not without anxiety, but I did it!), and I no longer fear v*ing on a daily basis. In addition, I got a divorce, moved to a new city, with a new job....bought a new house and got a new dog.

For me, leaving my husband of 7 years was a huge step. I learned that I was trying so hard to be what he wanted that once I left him, a large portion of my anxiety left me as well. But new anxieties set in because I depended so much on him to keep me going...now I am working on believing that I can keep myself going!

Ok, so I finally can recognize the difference between a panic attack and the feeling you get before you v* (by not recognizing the difference, I thought I was going to v* every day). But the problem is that the "conquering" of my fear is based on the belief that I am NOT going to v*, not in the belief that v* is not truly scary. So, when I really am sick, panic still rules my life. What I want is to NOT BE AFRAID of v*ing at all .

I am here to try to refocus my energy on getting better, rather than ignoring it and thinking that how I am living is acceptable. It is ok, but not great. I want it to be great!

Thanks for listening!