First, my question. I've noticed that some use v*, sv* and the like instead of typing the whole word, but not everyone does. Is it for personal comfort, or respect toward others? Using the full words does not bother me, but if someone else is bothered, I want to make sure I'm not making others uncomfortable.

About me: My name is Anne, and I'm 26. I have been afraid of v* since childhood, but I don't quite think it escalated to emetophobia until the past few years. It keeps getting worse and worse every winter, with now being the worst it's ever been.

I've had anxiety my whole life. I started off with pretty severe social anxiety at about the age of five, and 2.5 years ago, I developed panic disorder. Now, this has added a whole new layer to my anxiety disorders.

I have issues with control. Not controlling others, but controlling every aspect of my own life. I think the reason I've developed this stems from my issues of control. I haven't v* in about 15 years, so it's also the fear of the unknown. A big part of it is from my social anxiety, too, fearing that people will think I'm a disgusting, horrible person. I know that's not all of it, though, because I fear v* in private, too.

This is so consuming that I think about it every day. I have stomach aches and n* very frequently. I'm obsessed with everything tied to my gastro-intestinal tract. Even gas now sets off anxiety for me. I'm constantly assessing others' levels of wellness. I'm teetering on being agoraphobic, and in some ways, I think I already am. If my husband is v*, I will freak out and start crying, probably having a panic attack. My panic attacks are so tied to my stomach, that it's extremely hard for me to tell the difference between them and sv* until it starts to wane. If I know someone has been sick, I will obsess about every little thing surrounding it. I told my husband that if I caught a bad bug and had to v* over and over, I would just curl up in a ball and die. I just know it.

I just found out last night (from this website, actually) that hand sanitizer and disinfecting wipes do nothing against sv*, which has me totally freaking out now. My husband was driving someone to a basketball game two nights ago, and they v* six times (not in the car, luckily). I had my husband clean with those Clorox wipes, so I thought I was mostly safe. I rode in the car last night, and we went to eat somewhere. I used hand sanitizer before touching the food. Now I'm freaking out!

I'm seeing a counselor now, but I don't know how much help she will be. She hasn't helped so far, and in fact, I think I'm getting worse. I don't think she really even understands this. I've just ordered the Emetophobia Eraser program, and I'm really hoping that will help. Anyone with experience?

I've gone on long enough, so I'll stop now. Thanks to anyone who has read this far.