I live in an apartment building. My elderly neighbour across the hall is disgustingly dirty. I mean, you can literally smell him coming around the corner... and when he opens his door, or sometimes even if you walk by it (I think the stench seeps through the space at the bottom of the door) you smell something like a combination of rotting corpse and bodily fluids. I'm not exaggerating.

Now, this man is elderly and alone. Completely alone. And very nice. And I feel bad for him so I do say hi and have a quick chit-chat with him (from a reasonable distance while I try not to inhale) whenever I see him.

I guess because he has nobody, he slipped a note under my door asking if I'd like to get together for his birthday this weekend, at my place, to play scrabble and have some wine and cheese which he will bring. Now normally that would be nice... but there is no way I can have this man in my home, let alone eat anything with him... and I certainly can't go to his place - I'd pass out from the stench - and I think he knows this which is why he suggested my place. I couldn't even sit across from him in a restaurant or any other public place either because he is soooooo dirty and smells so bad.

So what do I do? I feel so bad for him because it's his BIRTHDAY and he's OLD and ALONE and I'd love to be able to do something nice for him but seriously, I'd start retching... not to mention I'd then have to bleach my entire apartment from top to bottom after he left.

So how would you handle this, without hurting his feelings. I was thinking I could say I'm going away this weekend (and then not come out of my apartment until monday ) but then that would require a raincheck.

How do I get out of doing this EVER?!