Had an idea that I'd like to share and see what other people think, especially those who have overcome/are well on the way to overcoming the phobia.

Okay, so my starting point is the recent realisation on my part that my precious, perfect streak (since 30th June 1983), far from being a source of pride is actually harmful and a completely false comfort, as by having it at all I'm by definition placing huge importance on not being sick, so feeding the phobia. By seeing it as so important I'm saying that losing it would be terrible and disastrous, so feeding the phobia. By keeping it going so long I end up forgetting that maybe, just maybe, being sick isn’t that bad after all and so remain scared stiff of it, so feeding the phobia. By its very nature, keeping track of how long I haven’t been sick is a form of avoidance, so feeding the phobia.

Now, I'm not about to down a glass of saltwater to get the monkey off my back (!), but I can try a mental exercise which is the next best thing and at any rate I'm not so sure this is about the physical act of being sick at all. Bear with me, I'll explain! As I said in my post to the "How long has it been" thread in the Q&A forum, the closest call I've had since 1983 was last August when I had a stomach bag and retched two or three times. I wasn't sick, but in all honesty I should have been. I certainly felt as if I was going to be with each retch, could taste it in my throat and probably only stopped it by coughing/choking/swallowing it back down each time. Plus, it was undoubtedly the most nauseated I've felt since the last time. In short, I couldn't have come any closer and so my streak really should have ended that night.

So here's my idea. Seeing as it was such a close call, why don’t I simply pretend I was sick? Why don’t I pretend (and that's the beauty of this, as it really would only need a slight exaggeration) that my streak was snapped at 27 years, 6 weeks and is now gone forever? How would I feel about that? I'm not sure if this is going to work but I'll certainly give it an initial go over the next few days and see how I get on, although of course well over 27 years of thinking patterns probably can't be erased quite so easily and may need a bit longer…! A phobia is a mental thing - no one is born with a phobia, it's something that your mind creates in order to keep you safe from perceived threats - so I really do believe that the solution is a mental one as well, which is why I don’t think drinking salty water would help. But having come round to the idea that my streak, far from being the solution is actually a large part of the problem, I'm now moving on to the idea of voluntarily ditching it for my own good.

So what does anyone else think? By the way and with all due respect please don’t reply with anything like "that's stupid because you weren't actually sick no matter how close a call it was", as that isn’t the point and at any rate convincing myself of this is my problem, not anyone else's. No, my interest is what anyone - and I'll say again, especially anyone who's overcome this phobia - thinks of it as an idea. Am I on the right track to try and move away from being so pleased with my streak?