Really discouraged :(

[DeadxxInside92]

Sorry I have been posting so frequently guys. I just cannot help it Anyways, I have been on Zoloft for about four weeks now--give or take a few days. The first few weeks I was on 25mg and felt pretty good then I was feeling anxious/panicky again, so the dosage was upped to 50mg. I was told to take 50mg for two weeks then bump it up to 75mg. Last night was my first night since I upped the dosage again. Tonight was the second night and I am feeling kind of nauseated. I do not know if it is because of the dosage increase or the fact that my period is really heavy this month. UGH It's not just feeling ill though...

The past two weeks, I have not cried AT ALL. It may not seem like a huge deal, but I usually would cry pretty damn often. I felt like a wuss because I'd honestly cry at the drop of a hat. Well anyways, yeah, I hadn't cried at all. Then yesterday I had such a shit day at class, I skipped my World Civ class and SOC class. I now feel my grades are suffering again. My dad told me yesterday how proud he was of me and he was so happy to see me doing well. WTF Yesterday, I felt angry and fed up. I felt teary eyed the whole way home. When I arrived home, I just fell asleep on the couch until dinner. I wasn't hungry. I just wanted to sleep. Earlier in the day, I was talking to my boyfriend and told him I was so happy because I hadn't been starting any fights for a long while.

He agreed he was ecstatic with my improvement. THEN of course, later that fucking night, I was pissed off and so we started fighting I feel HORRIBLE. He was extremely understanding and compassionate. He has been such a sweetheart to me today, but I feel I do not deserve it. Like, I honestly felt like I was making SO much progress. Now I feel like all it is ruined and I am back at square one. I always fuck things up I do not know what to do really. I am going to keep taking the Zoloft. I just do not know if it's helping Sorry, I guess this is more of a rant than anything else. I'm just really upset.