Sorry for bringing other personal life issues to the board, but I have no place to vent. I'm awaiting my monthly visitor which should have been here by now. Its a couple days late I believe. I have a horrible headache right now which I'm hoping is because my period is going to be starting. I'm so bloated and fat. I took some medicine that contains a diuretic so I can pee some of this bloat out. Ugh.


My brother has been out of college since December 14th for Christmas break and he doesnt return to school until January 18th. I love my brother and everything but he is starting to get on my nerves. He's so angry at the world and he screams his frustrations to the animals. Animals are everywhere here and so is his freaking screaming. Then he keeps opening and closing his door and going up and down the steps. Slamming this object and screaming about it. A little while ago he was thumping around in his room. He's everywhere and I can't stand it. I feel so selfish for talking like this and I have no right to say this when this is my brothers home just as much as it is mine. Maybe it's PMS or straight stress talking--I don't know. I'm just very depressed and stressed out and I like peace and quiet when I am. And I also like to shut out the world and just be alone when I'm really down in the dumps. I feel like I have to show the world this huge smile when others are present and when I'm alone I'm allowed to let the tears flow without worrying.


*Sigh*


Sorry for ranting and sorry for sounding selfish. My head aches, my heart aches, everything aches. Have you ever been so stressed out where your chest actually feels funny and little things get so much anger flowing through your veins? Thats how I am now. I'm on edge--and I freaking hate it. I see the counselor tomorrow so maybe I can rant to her and get some advice.


Well, thanks for listening. I really appreciate it. Please dont yell at me for being selfish about the whole brother situation. I already realize I'm wrong for saying and feeling it--but I can't help what I say or feel....I love him though, but sometimes I just need to be alone, ya know?