Hi everyone, I'm Amanda I'm writing this as kind of a vent/call for help kind of thing First off I'm 30, I have two daughters, and I suffer from severe emetophobia For years now I have been terrified of 'everything' needless to say. I have severely restricted my diet, which sucks because I'm a big girl, I love food, I rarely leave without anxiety attacks, every night is hell because I now suffer from insomnia from fear to sleep, I'm ALWAYS nauseated, well at least my anxiety says so. Anyways, what I'm asking for is advice on better coping mechanisms? Unfortunately I'm a cutter (awful, I know) and I always tend to turn to that when I get to feeling like this. I have OCD, so to be honest, I doubt ever being 'cured' from this horrible phobia, which is why I'm reaching out in hopes that somebody who understands the power of this phobia can help me in some way. I have tried it all, therapy, meds, hypnotism, all kinds of books, programs etc. In December 2010 I got strep real bad and the antibiotic made me violently ill, so that obviously didn't help either, made it worse I'm mostly concerned about my girls, I'm afraid that my actions and fears will go to them because they see my behavior as far as cleaning and panicking, my restricted diet, no Restaurants, my endless questioning etc. Hopefully someone can relate to this and offer some advice? Thanks to everyone who reads this!!!