Nauseous and just really sad about it.

[sunnyskies]

Hi everyone! Kind of a ramble post, as usual.

I haven't been here as much lately because I've made a lot of strides in overcoming a lot of my fears, including of course emet. I got the janitorial job I applied for and it has been really perfect. I get to work alone and it is a nice building that I'm not afraid of germs or anything. It can be a little lonely but overall is still worth it, as it has helped me cope with a lot of anxieties without the extra/added anxiety of being around a lot of other distressing people.

Today has been rough though. I didn't sleep well and didn't feel all that great throughout the night. Today I felt a little better but not very hungry. I still figured I should eat something before work so my blood sugar doesn't plunge.

So I ate some cheese and crackers and instantly felt queasy and had some d*, though not uncommon with my IBS. I took Pepto and just tried to relax but it's also super humid today and this n* feeling just won't go away.

On one hand I am worried about v* but more over I'm just discouraged at this in general. Just the feelings of 'Why me?', 'Why now?', 'Why at all?' I make my own hours with this job which is nice but I can't bum around the house for too much longer.

I don't know how I'm going to make it through work. Even if the sick feeling passes I still feel so down.

And I just really don't want to go back to where I was at with this obsessing and grief over my stomach. I've made too much progress for that, but I'm still worried. Thank you to anyone/everyone for listening.