Hi everyone,

I can't believe I just found this community! I have had emetophobia since I was 4 or 5 years old. I am lucky in the sense that I am (mostly) able to live my life without the phobia interfering on most days.

However, I recently found out I was pregnant. While I am thrilled, the past two weeks have been non-stop anxiety and n*. I had to go to the ER which I have never done in my life. I was previously prescribed Klonopin .5mg 3x daily for panic disorder but weaned off of them a few months before I got pregnant. I still had quite a few left for emergencies, but I was told that I absolutely can not take them while pregnant. The anxiety is so bad that I have to keep them at my mom's house otherwise I would absolutely take them.

I don't know if the n* is real or due to my anxiety. I think it's probably both. I am trying to be strong. I am on Vistaril for when I feel very anxious and Zofran to keep the n* at bay so I don't get too anxious, but I am still struggling. Is there anyone here with emet that has made it through a pregnancy (or pregnancies)? Logically I know that I WILL make it through this, but sometimes I just feel like I want to die. I wouldn't wish this cycle of n* and anxiety on my worst enemy. I am literally counting down the days until the end of the First Trimester (25!!!!) so I can hopefully feel better. I feel like I won't be a good mother because I can't handle this. My fiance does the best he can, but it's draining for both of us and you can't truly understand this unless you have it. I had to stop going to work and I rarely leave the house. When I do, I am full of anxiety and often have panic attacks. I am basically bed ridden at this point due to crippling fear and n*.

Any words of encouragement or success stories would be appreciated. I have not v* and I hope that I won't seeing as I am already 8w3d. I am running on 2 hours of sleep because I had intense anxiety all night.

Thank you