Okay, here goes..

So just over a month ago i suffered a bad panic attack, since then my life has been completely ruined. I have felt sick everyday, i've been to the doctor a few times and now he finally thinks i may have IBS. I had a good week last week, i managed to start collage and i began to feel happy again. But then last friday i had another panic attack and it has just got out of control. I missed two days of college and only went in today because i was forced. I am now constantly terrified that i will catch a virus and analysis every thing i've done during the day. I also feel so lonley, my parents and boyfriend are really supportive but they just don't understand, which isn't their fault. I keep getting told to try and 'fight it' but nobody realises how hard that is and i can feel myself beginning to annoy everybody . Now i wake up everyday and don't want to get up. I also self harmed the other day which i am so embarrassed of but i just didn't know what else to do! It's about a month until i start therapy but i don't know if i can deal with this any longer, i just don't know what to do anymore