I am in such a state of panic I can not think straight, everything is freaking me out and I cannot do anything or make the simplest of decisions.
I posted the other day about university and my struggles there and was so looking forward to coming back home for a week where hopefully I would feel a bit safer... but over the past week, both at university and now at home, it is getting really bad again! the phobia, the constant worry, the anxiety (both phobic and general) and I just know that if this carries on, its going to spiral back down into depression again.

I'm scared to eat and have taken some domperidone but I still feel nauseous but it feels mainly like it is in my throat. But there is discomfort in my stomach, it just doesn't feel right. Oh my, I am so scared. :'( I felt a bit off yesterday early evening too but was still eating and then felt better and ate quite a lot of sweets in the evening. I then went to bed with this odd taste when I swallowed and woke up with it this morning too :s Then I started panicking and didn't want to eat and that's when I started noticing the stomach uneasiness and the nausea. It does slightly feel like I need to burp but I'm too scared to even do that.

My grandad is just about to come round but at times like this, I can't bear to be "fine" around everyone and in a way, I feel like I need to be alone but if it were to happen, I would want someone hear - probably only my mum I would want. She is at work and not contactable and I know she feels like she has run out of things to say and ways to reassure me.

Things are getting so bad for me at the moment that for example trying to get dressed proved so hard. I was thinking "if I'm wearing this, is this something someone feeling ill might wear?" And I couldn't co-ordinate clothes or even concentrate on putting makeup on properly. I have already had a panic attack this morning but at the moment I am just borderline heightened fear and panic and I am petrified. I don't want it to happen :'(

The taste is back and my stomach feels twingy and uncomfortable and a bit acidy/churning feeling. Please help I feel like I would rather lose an arm than have this happen :'( x