My long term boyfriends mother lives on Martha's vineyard off of Cape cod and she has been asking us for months to visit her. I have two issues with this. First of all, we would have to take a ferry to her house. I am terrified of this for obvious reasons and there is absolutely no way I am stepping foot onto a boat with people other then my boyfriend and myself. Secondly, I have terrible anxiety when it comes to sleeping at someone else's house. I often wonder how clean the place we are sleeping is, and wonder if anyone has ever gotten s* in the bed, on the couch, ect to the point where it's all I can think about while I'm there. This mixed with the stress of visiting the in laws makes me extra anxious and there is no way I would be able to handle this ordeal. How can I make her understand why I can't visit without her thinking I am just avoiding seeing them? or being rude? She, like many other non-emets, doesn't understand the "big deal" of making a "little trip" like this. Help please!!