Hi my name is faye im 24 im married with 2 step daughters and a son. My fears started when I was 15 I used to suffer with panic attacks in my teens due to bullying etc I then caught the day after my 15th birthday the worst bug ever I was so violently sick and I was on my own. It scared me to hell. I suffered every time someone got ill id question food I was eating incase I got food poisening it was ridiculous. I was referred to see a psychiatrist and it helped to the point where I wasnt thinking about it every minute only when people were ill etc. This lasted for about 4 years and it was managable it didnt stop my life anymore. Anyway i got married and had my son but about 2 years ago my son was diagnosed autistic this was so stressful that the panic attacks started again and along with it came the fear of being sick and its been like that ever since. I was put on propranolol for about 6 months and I started to feel better so I came off them slowly and I wasnt too bad the attacks and the fear were there but not too extreme. Unfortunately abot 2 months ago i got a bug i wasnt sick but it was the other end and it frightened me and the attacks got so bad after that that I couldnt go out I was panicking over food I was eating panicking about every possible thing that could make me ill. So I went back on the tablets only this time I feel no better. Today my teenage stepdaughter has been to a theme park and she gets motion sickness and shes been sick I know deep down thats whats wrong but still I panick still just incase. When theres a bug in the house I go completely ocd with cleaning and washing my hands etc and I panic for 48hrs after theyve stopped being sick. To be honest im a mess atm its completely controlling my life and im at my wits end. The more stress in my life the worse I get and unfortunately with my son I live a very stressful life. I have been having councilling but to be honest its not helping im just at a loss of what to do now. How can I keep living like this?? Its been 9.5 years since I was last sick and the longer im not sick the more anxious I get coz I know one day I will be. Ive been reading these threads and its so strange coz the way you guys think is exactly like I do. I just dont know if I can cope another 10 years living like this. My husband doesnt get it either he doesnt even try to understand!! Any tips and advice would be grately appreciated and I hope to chat to you soon.

Faye