Hello my name is Harry,

I am 19 years old and i live in Sydney, Australia

I have just become aware of this site and it shed much needed light on my perception of my phobia

My phobia started around 10 years ago when i had surgery on my ear. After the surgery i was severely disorientated, dizzy and nauseas... which then led to the inevitable. Since that operation i have lived in fear of getting; food poisoning, the flu, concussion (can lead to v**) and the list goes on.

At the age of 12 i suffered severely from emetophobia, i would compulsively wash my hands and sleep with a bucket next to my bed because i would convince myself every night that "The dinner my mum cooked will make me sick"... they were a tough few years, but as i grew older i became more efficient at dealing and managing my fears.

My phobia goes through different stages of intensity, some days its all i think about... other days it doesn't even cross my mind.

I have seen numerous psychologists and 2 of Australia's leading psychiatrists... both gave me the advice of assessing situations in accordance to their perceived risk.. i.e If i were to dine at a nice restaurant my trust in the food should be strong, however if i were to eat at a 'dodgy' or suspicious looking restaurant i should asses it with a high level of risk (which 'any normal person would do') with this i went out and tried testing myself... i couldn't even get takeaway Chinese from a recommended establishment. I then tried hypnosis... which i can safely say didn't work.

I am cautious of hygiene, however sometimes i am slack... it is those times in which i take it out on myself for not feeling more cautious

I felt i was left with no choice but to face the fear front on and initiate v**... and we all know that is like telling someone with claustrophobia to jump into a closet. It wont work. However, in the last 9 years there has been numerous times where i have come extremely close to v**... i have managed to refrain, most of the time the though of being sick has created anxiety which as ironically made me feel allot more ill. In holding it down i thought to myself, is it possible to train yourself to restrain from v** ? i researched it and there has been cases, however i cant help but think that if i get a bought of food poisoning then i will have little control over my natural defence mechanism.

My phobia has stopped me from travelling and has impeded on my relationships and study. I live at a university college and i am always cautious of 'stomach bugs' going around campus. I am getting to the point where i need to get on top of it before i miss out on many once in a lifetime and life changing experiences.

after little research tonight i found this website (i cant post it for some reason???) i t is reasonably expensive, however i would pay whatever it took if i knew there was a chance in getting rid of this huge cloud which hangs over me.

This is my first ever internet blog, so i hope i haven't ranted on for too long or given to much information on my personal problems. from the posts i have read i can tell there are some amazingly strong people out there and hopefully we can all defeat this and move on for a more bright and experience filled future

Cheers everyone

Harry