Perception of time theory

[andySIW]

Here are some philosophical musings on emet theory that come from about 3 decades of being an experient, coupled with a couple of decades of eastern philosophical studies.

My recent discoveries, or re-discoveries come about from a re-lapse in phobic stability. As a side note, the re-lapse (I think) was triggered by experiencing to high of a fear state - I was on an overground train going into London and it got more and more packed, like sardines and for me this triggers a what-if-I'm-sick-and-can't-get-out style panic. This went through the roof and since then I lost stability and trust in everything and new panic triggers were neurologically wired. Sent me back years. So as a quick tip, if you want to ease your symptoms, play with the 2-3 out of 10 panic triggers, not the 8-10 out of 10 ones!

Ok, on to the theory.

We all think we're afraid of being sick, right?

And along side that are sub-phobias. If we had to make a list of the top five it might look like this:

5. public transport
4. eating meat
3. eating out
2. seeing someone else get sick
1. getting sick ourselves

But really there's a number 0 overarching fear, which number 1 is subordinate to, and that is not being in control. The number 1 (which I think just about everyone here would agree IS a common number 1) is not in and of itself, the terror culprit. It's being vulnerable to something that is happening which we can not control. Stop and really think about that for a while and your brain should go: ....... ah yes! like something clicks whereby you realise that being sick in and of itself is not the problem. Once it clicks, we can start to objectify that demon. Diminish it.

Now, our issue then is that of time. And what our attitude is towards the passage of time. Time being one of the main ingredients in the experience of consciousness. And something which is fundamentally confusing to just about all beings, whether fully conscious of it or not. Worry, itself, is a by product of time-perception mismanagement.

Example. Recently, one of my triggers (since the relapse) has been a) driving b) driving with my wife in the car and c) driving anyone else (in order of terror). I got this idea that, what if I feel sick while driving and have to pull over and look like an idiot - or worse, there IS nowhere to pull over (british roads are like that often).

Now, we all hear, from wise sages, that we should live in the moment, the now, right?

But there I was going "to hell with that, when I'm in the now and stuck in traffic, I want to be as far away from the now as possible!" but here's the core of my argument. When I was stuck in traffic (or sat at a traffic light and feeling closed in on all sides) I was NOT in the now, was doing the 'panic formula' which we all DO voluntarily which consists of thinking: what if I do x, what if y happens, what if I start to feel z? which is a projection into the future. Oddly enough, this process is enough to trigger symptoms! symptoms!! I would then start to feel nauseous!!! which would instigate a panic feedback loop and boom, panic attack.

Funny how I never, ever felt nauseous while driving before and then when I start to get paranoid about it (after my relapse) - wham - nausea. Damn near every journey!

If you/we are afraid of our #1 (as above) and experience it, we have: before it happens, it happening, after it happens. And I would say that besides feeling unwell for a long time in the first stage, the rest happens about as fast as it takes to read that sentence. And here we are, now, on the other side of it. And where is our mind?? frantically scanning in the past to recall the 'horror'? scanning ahead to worry if it happens again? or just here and now where nothing bad whatsoever is happening?

Add to that a sprinkle of: when was the last time we were ACTUALLY sick? for many of us, it's years if not decades. Really think about that. I think we can afford to relax based on those credentials alone.

So, next time the anxiety starts to creep in, ask yourself where you are: past or future? what are you fantasising about happening? and come back to now. The symptoms are false, they don't mean anything, so don't let them trigger a panic spiral. And add to it the statistical probability based on how OFTEN the bad thing actually happens - practically never, ever. Especially for emet sufferers who seem to have permanently shut down their get-sick-mechanism.

In conclusion, at the heart of this phobia lies an existential dilemma of the passage of time and our perception of it.

Be here now.