Hey everyone, hows it going?

I am just so frustrated today. This phobia is the most annoying time consuming thing Ive ever had to deal with.
I am just so worried today that its going to happen. But I am now chalking it up to nerves about my therapy appointment.

Last night we slept with the window open, and the temp outside was warm then cold, cause today it turned rainy. I tossed and turned a lot and when I got up this morning to use the bathroom, it all came out at once and was very loose! It instantly freaked me out, naturally. My husband was trying to calm me down but I just am so worked up. I ended up eating a few bites of cheese and crackers so I can take my medicine. My seroquel makes me tired so now I am just kind of blah cause its rainy outside and i am tired.

My therapy appointment today, my mother in law is coming. She wants to learn ways to help me get through panic episodes and stuff, which i think is great and helpful. But I just can not calm down, and accept the fact that I am okay. (at least I HOPE so!)

Im getting ready to go to my appointment now, and I am just nervous. When I have a weird bowel movement, it just freaks me out and puts me off for the whole day! I haven't really been any where, or been around people who were sick, so I can't imagine I am, but I just hate the what if's. I Could really use some encouragement today!