I guess I knew this day would come.

After several years without a major incident, I find myself at the mercy of my emetophobia again. This afternoon, my wife started feeling unwell, had the dry heaves while still in the room with me, then got sick in the bathroom of our very, very small studio apartment. The door was closed, but the sounds terrified me in a way I hadn't felt in years because I knew this could be something contagious and I was just feet away from where it was happening.

Panicked, I froze and cried. I had been reading articles on norovirus, recently, on how it's so robust and easy to catch. And though I don't know what is ailing my wife, the fact that I don't know has my mind reeling and fills me with such intense dread of what may come.

My wife and I had a contingency plan, of sorts, in place, where I would head to a hotel if she became ill with sv and that's where I am now...but if it was sv (or worse), I'm not sure how much I was exposed before I left. I put on one of those germ masks that are common here in South Korea before she came out of the bathroom and asked her to close the bathroom door when she was finished. I'm sure I came into contact with some of the same surfaces she did, though, and, of course, she was resting nearby in bed as I packed my bags.

My wife contacted me to tell me that she was still feeling n* and that she went to a local medical clinic. The doctor didn't seem to think it was a virus, but something related to her diet and digestion. Unsurprisingly, I'm not convinced.

The only thing to do is wait. And the waiting is agony. Per my routine during these times, I won't let myself eat or drink (hungry or not) and I will fight sleep for as long as possible. I'm terrified I will wake up sick in the middle of the night.

Being alone, my fear is amplified, so I guess this post is a distress signal to those who have navigated these murky waters and can relate.

Thanks for listening.