Ate without washing my hands

[Claire-]

Posting this because I'm trembling in fear at what I've just done. But hey! I'll start from the beginning

I wrote down a list of things I'll be able to do once I overcome my fear:

Go back to school
Get a job
Enjoy waking up
Be able to look forward to tomorrow
Perform on stage/pursue piano career
Travel places
Enjoy days out (bowling, movies etc)
Visit friends and family
Be comfortable around boyfriend
Take up new hobbies/sports (drama, swimming, tennis)
Be happy every day
Not be scared, have no panic attacks
Could take care of people when they're sick
Go out whenever I want, not just when I'm certain I'm not sick
Eat at restaurants
Make plans and look forward to them instead of dreading them

So there we have it. I know that overcoming this fear will mean I can do every one of these things. So I'm starting my exposure therapy. I'm not waiting for the 'perfect moment' to start, because it'll never come! I'm meeting my boyfriend in 2 days and spending time at his house, and knowing this I just made and ate toast without washing my hands. The only time in the past 9 years that I ate without washing my hands, I vomited 2 days later. Let's kick this fear's ass. THE FEAR IS GOOD. (I'm so hyped up on adrenaline from doing that right now, sorry).

Will keep y'all updated A few months of terror for a lifetime of happiness is so darn worth it.

Edit: I also did this knowing about 3 people who've been sick in the past 2 weeks.