I need your help anyone who will listen. I have struggled with this fear almost my whole life. The last year has been extreme though. My life has been completely altered. Sadly I had just gotten engaged almost a year ago today and my now fiancé got the SF. That was the beginning of things starting to get out of control. In the last year I have 1) Lost more than 30 lbs just because I simply have been scared to eat anything that isn't bread, cereal or pasta. "Safe foods" I have been going to counseling on and off but I haven't had the strength to face this demon in my life. The real issue here is that I am engaged to married and I am not well. My fiancé doesn't understand this fear - I feel ashamed and so terrible that I can't get it together. I don't see my life getting better and honestly I am headed in a bad direction. I feel like if things don't change I am going to either end up starving myself to death or end up in a hospital. I don't know where to go or what to do and my relationship is falling apart right in front of me. I am scared to death of life, I have isolated myself and am in such a dark place in my life. I am pushing away the people that love me because I don't know how to handle this.

Any help?