Hi, I'm new to the board and thankful there's a place like this for people like us. I've had emetophobia for years but only now is it becoming a real serious problem. Since the age of 20 (I'm 51 now), I've had gastritis (inflammation of the stomach) a few times - no reason identified except anxiety/stress and maybe a bit of dietary overindulgence. Despite the bloating, horrible pain and nausea that comes with each episode, I have (so far) not vomited. Gastritis tends to last from 2-6 months despite a bland diet, medications, etc. As you can imagine it's HELL because the whole time I'm terrified of being sick! I think the anxiety makes it worse.

Two months ago, I developed a lot of acid indigestion after eating a salad with lots of onions. I have since been having daily episodes of indigestion, heartburn, burning pain (especially on an empty stomach) and sometimes acid reflux at night and nausea. Though it might be gastritis again (because I do get acid reflux with that) the symptoms are more consistent with GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). I've read that this is a lifelong disease that can only be managed with drugs (or surgery) - both of which FREAK ME OUT. The meds can have awful side effects if used long term, and nausea and vomiting can be side effects. I've read everything imaginable on GERD and it sounds like a lifelong condition that can only (hopefully) be managed. It's very scary. Some people get this from being overweight and eating poorly - they're lucky because losing weight and changing a few habits can usually help reduce their symptoms. Not so for me. Despite being quite thin and eating very carefully, I have very severe symptoms.

I need to have another gastroscopy (tube down stomach) to explore the possible causes of this problem. I had the procedure before (with sedation) and even though it sounds terrifying, it was a piece of cake.

I'm supposed to be going to Aruba in a few weeks and am terrified that I'm going to get really sick because I won't be able to stick to my strict diet. The meds don't help much and because they reduce stomach acid, they make me more susceptible to (gasp!!!) food poisoning. But if I don't take them, I'll probably feel much worse. I've tried all kinds of natural treatments, including DGL - but it's not enough. I'm so scared and anxious. I wish we didn't have to go on this trip. My hubby is so excited but I'm going to end up ruining it. I'm also worried that I may have stomach cancer. I haven't vomited since the age of 18 (33 years ago!!!) but now that I have this terrible stomach condition, I fear that my future will be nothing but pure misery and nobody can help me. It does seem like my anxiety med (ativan) helps reduce my symptoms somewhat, but I can't take it all the time - it can cause dependence, brain fog and sleepiness where I cannot function. I don't feel like docs can help me - I'm just screwed. This is making me very depressed and scared for my future. I keep looking for answers and can't find any.

Thanks for letting me rant and for listening.