I am looking forward to Christmas as per usual. Even just making mince pies with my older bro and having some banter around the dinner table... But... Since I had my crazy emet phase this year in the summer, my parents have kept an extra eye on me and my food habits. They're not crazy and thankfully see that I love a good indulge when it's chocolate or pizza or a curry but if I don't feel hungry for dinner(THEY EAT AT 4:30 SOMETIMES) They quiz me and my mum specifically looks at me with deep concern as if I'm anorexic, which, I'm not! I've always been ultra skinny as my dad is tall and only puts weight on on his stomach and she can't remember how I was before I started drinking for two years when I went up about 28 pounds...and since I stopped going out getting wasted three nights a week I've gone back to my normal weight which has always been the kind of skinny where I can eat and eat but all I get is 'Please put some weight on, you skinny minny!'.

I used to laugh it off and my mum used to accept the way I look but since she has this other image of me, when I was 'curvy and had some weight on my face' she says to me EVERYDAY 'Babe PLEASE eat more' when I actually eat 200g more of chocolate than any of my family does...My dad has also been stressed cos of his job and when my tummy plays up he joins in and sometimes my brother will say 'its all in your head, just eat more' but they don't get it..not only do I have consistent episodes of acid reflux but I'm not as strong as them... If I feel a little n* from the spaghetti we eat I panic as I will have to hide what I'm feeling.

Also, I'm wondering if any vegans out there found it hard to 'come out' of the vegan closet lol....last time I went home I did something terrible.... When my family cooked nice food with meat, I was too scared of what they'd say when I tell them I don't wanna eat meat anymore so, I got a napkin and ate ALL of my dinner except for the chicken/lamb/beef. Its not a crazy eating disorder but I know I won't hear the end of it when I tell them I can't digest meat too well and that I actually don't have much care for meat(I find it quite bland unless heavily flavoured).. Did anyone else have a hard time coming out as vegan??