My psychologist asked me today if I wanted to start EMDR. I told her I was very scared, so she told me to pick something about the phobia that I do or feel that is irritating at a 3 on a level of 1 to 10 (10 being worst.) So I said that I can't eat the parts of food that I've touched with my hands, like the tips of french fries. She then asked me why it's irritating and I said because people make fun of me about it. She asked how that makes me feel, and I said embarrassed. She asked where I felt the embarrassment, and I said in my stomach in a form of mild nausea. She then said how it all makes me feel and I said like a loser. So she repeated that to me and started moving her fingers from side to side. All I could think about was me getting dizzy, or fainting, or having a seizure. I told her that that is all I could think about during it and that was making me anxious. So now I don't know if I'll be able to f***ing handle EMDR. She is going to work on some things with me which will hopefully keep away the anxiety so I can do EMDR.


She also told me she'd provide me with a bucket during out sessions if I wanted one. I thought that was very caring of her.


Well, thats all. I'm just irritated that EMDR won't work for me now.