i can't stop thinking about those bad times when i had Helicobacter, those times when i was feeling really depressed and scared of throwing up, i can remember the first time when emethophobia started, it was 2012, when i ate pepian (a traditional food in my country), then my brothers, mother and me went to the playground but i was feeling a stomach ache, laterly, at the night, i was watching the simpsons and i threw up 3 or 2 times, that was really traumatic for me and i don't know how, then, in 2013, the doctor said than i had Helicobacter, those times was really hard, everytime feeling bad, stomach aches like going to throw up, i suffered 2 or 3 years with that, everyday feeling the same, i tried to find help but nothing, until 2015 or 2014, then i started to don't think about it, i started to feel not so well but i tried (sometimes feeling stomach aches and feeling like i was going to vomit) for 4 or 3 years, but this year, 2 weeks ago, i threw up again and 4 times the same day, now i feel like those days when i had helicobacter, i can't stop thinking about those bad memories and they are a lot, like, a day when i went to buy hamburgers with my dad at night and i was feeling really bad, those days when i used to be really afraid and have a lot of nauseas, now i remember those bad memories, i am stuck with that and these days i was feeling not so well, i was not eating for fear, i was feeling a lot of nauseas, everything increased, now i am crying please, i was investigating these 2 weeks about my problem and how to solve it but nothing, i think that made me feel worse, i am trying to find help but in my country that doesn't work, we don't have a lot of money for find help and pay it, please, i can't take this anymore, i love my mother, she always helped me with this but this doesn't work anymore, i should need to kill myself, this is terrible, please help me guys, i am from Guatemala and i just have 14 years old, help